Comments on: Giving Our Children the Gift of Presence http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/ Green and Natural Parenting Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:28:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Shen-Li http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8086 Shen-Li Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:45:14 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8086 BTW - not all experts say you shouldn't co-sleep. AskDrSears promotes co-sleeping. BTW – not all experts say you shouldn’t co-sleep. AskDrSears promotes co-sleeping.

]]> By: Shen-Li http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8085 Shen-Li Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:43:33 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8085 When I have to do things around the house, I normally ask my son (21 months) if he wants to help or watch - even if his helping me means it'll take me twice as long to get through the chores. I agree with Rogue - it's a good learning experience for him and he definitely wants to learn. I find him mimicking my actions even when he thinks no one is watching. When I'm with him, we'll be drawing pictures with crayons, building Duplo houses, watching his favourite TV shows, singing his favourite songs, holding his hand or rolling his trains around the tracks for his amusement. Whenever I feel the tedium kicking in, I just sit back and reflect upon the fact that when he's older and less interested in Mummy's attention, I'll be glad to have spent this time with him. Katie - I so totally agree with you. I cringe whenever I hear parents talk like that. When I have to do things around the house, I normally ask my son (21 months) if he wants to help or watch – even if his helping me means it’ll take me twice as long to get through the chores. I agree with Rogue – it’s a good learning experience for him and he definitely wants to learn. I find him mimicking my actions even when he thinks no one is watching.

When I’m with him, we’ll be drawing pictures with crayons, building Duplo houses, watching his favourite TV shows, singing his favourite songs, holding his hand or rolling his trains around the tracks for his amusement. Whenever I feel the tedium kicking in, I just sit back and reflect upon the fact that when he’s older and less interested in Mummy’s attention, I’ll be glad to have spent this time with him.

Katie – I so totally agree with you. I cringe whenever I hear parents talk like that.

]]> By: Shelly http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8084 Shelly Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:55:52 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8084 My son jusr turned one year and the past few months I am trying to learn mindfulness and truly live in the minute. Its difficult to not think about the never ending "to do" list or replay the morning activities, but to just be and share what is happening or not happening at that time. I also carry on conversations (not me non-stop rambling) with him and have since he was born. I feel both things treat him as the individual that he and shows him the respect he deserves. Again, I love your posts and appreciate the knowledge that you share!! My son jusr turned one year and the past few months I am trying to learn mindfulness and truly live in the minute. Its difficult to not think about the never ending “to do” list or replay the morning activities, but to just be and share what is happening or not happening at that time. I also carry on conversations (not me non-stop rambling) with him and have since he was born. I feel both things treat him as the individual that he and shows him the respect he deserves.

Again, I love your posts and appreciate the knowledge that you share!!

]]> By: Katie http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8083 Katie Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:25:24 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8083 I am looking forward to having kids someday, but until then I get to enjoy my family members' and friends' children. I am glad that you listen to your instincts because I have to leave the room when these same parents say things like, "We let them fuss because they need to learn (hello, your kids are 2 months old! They NEED to be comforted!)." My mothering instincts are already well-honed, and it is hard to be around people that take doctor's advice as gospel for raising children. I am looking forward to having kids someday, but until then I get to enjoy my family members’ and friends’ children. I am glad that you listen to your instincts because I have to leave the room when these same parents say things like, “We let them fuss because they need to learn (hello, your kids are 2 months old! They NEED to be comforted!).” My mothering instincts are already well-honed, and it is hard to be around people that take doctor’s advice as gospel for raising children.

]]> By: Mel http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8082 Mel Sat, 11 Oct 2008 19:13:19 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8082 My kids are little--2 and 20 months. I let my older son take the lead on together time. When he wants to "read" or play by himself, I leave him to it. When he wants to be with me, which is most of the time, I make every effort to be available. The baby is pretty much always being held, or in a Baby Bjorn, and he sleeps in our bed. With both of them, we try to get outside as much as possible and have experiences together. My kids are little–2 and 20 months. I let my older son take the lead on together time. When he wants to “read” or play by himself, I leave him to it. When he wants to be with me, which is most of the time, I make every effort to be available.
The baby is pretty much always being held, or in a Baby Bjorn, and he sleeps in our bed.
With both of them, we try to get outside as much as possible and have experiences together.

]]> By: evolvedmom http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8081 evolvedmom Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:49:01 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8081 I read an essay once about nurturing creativity, and the author gave one of the best instructions I've ever heard for how to truly show support for children and be present with them during their artistic and/or exploratory moments. She urged adults to really engage in the child's mindset, to ask questions as you would see them if you were in the child's shoes. As my daughter has grown (she'll be 12 in a month!), that advice has helped time and time again. Rather than just being there and nodding and being encouraging, it's helped me to develop a true connection with her and how she sees the world. So, I guess my tip is, be more than just physically and emotionally present. Be intellectually present, too. Best of luck with your goals this year! I always enjoy reading your posts, even if I don't always have time to comment. I read an essay once about nurturing creativity, and the author gave one of the best instructions I’ve ever heard for how to truly show support for children and be present with them during their artistic and/or exploratory moments. She urged adults to really engage in the child’s mindset, to ask questions as you would see them if you were in the child’s shoes. As my daughter has grown (she’ll be 12 in a month!), that advice has helped time and time again. Rather than just being there and nodding and being encouraging, it’s helped me to develop a true connection with her and how she sees the world. So, I guess my tip is, be more than just physically and emotionally present. Be intellectually present, too.

Best of luck with your goals this year! I always enjoy reading your posts, even if I don’t always have time to comment.

]]> By: Lia Mack http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8080 Lia Mack Fri, 10 Oct 2008 23:05:03 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8080 I find it more difficult to find new ways to strengthen the bond between my children and myself as they grow up...which makes me especially thankful that I did attachment parenting from the start because I have such a strong and solid foundation to jump off of with them. It would be, IMO, impossible to created such a wonderful bond with them if I were to wait until I saw a problem growing between us, say in their older childhood/teenage years. Attachment Parenting is definately the way to go ;) Lia http://stirringuptrouble.tv/ I find it more difficult to find new ways to strengthen the bond between my children and myself as they grow up…which makes me especially thankful that I did attachment parenting from the start because I have such a strong and solid foundation to jump off of with them. It would be, IMO, impossible to created such a wonderful bond with them if I were to wait until I saw a problem growing between us, say in their older childhood/teenage years.

Attachment Parenting is definately the way to go ;)

Lia

http://stirringuptrouble.tv/

]]> By: Renee http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8079 Renee Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:37:14 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8079 BEing there for them and being home all the time and having fun is hte best gift! BEing there for them and being home all the time and having fun is hte best gift!

]]> By: Kansas Mom http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8078 Kansas Mom Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:57:46 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8078 I read once that kids remember much more of the angry things we say than the loving ones. The writer of the post said he tried to give his kids ten times as many hugs and admonitions -- and tried to make sure to give hugs to his teenagers where they'd definitely be remembered, like when they're walking into the grocery store or other public place. I read once that kids remember much more of the angry things we say than the loving ones. The writer of the post said he tried to give his kids ten times as many hugs and admonitions — and tried to make sure to give hugs to his teenagers where they’d definitely be remembered, like when they’re walking into the grocery store or other public place.

]]> By: Rogue http://naturemoms.com/blog/2008/10/10/giving-our-children-the-gift-of-presence/#comment-8077 Rogue Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:11:21 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1526#comment-8077 Include your children in what you do. Everything. If you are cleaning, let them help, if your doing household stuff, let them help. They learn so much from these things as well as gives them the feeling of purpose, not to mention bonding time. Perhaps when they are older, these are the times you will be able to talk about the things that are going on in their lives... keeping the communication, and bond, going and strong. Include your children in what you do. Everything. If you are cleaning, let them help, if your doing household stuff, let them help. They learn so much from these things as well as gives them the feeling of purpose, not to mention bonding time. Perhaps when they are older, these are the times you will be able to talk about the things that are going on in their lives… keeping the communication, and bond, going and strong.

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