Hopefully we all have people in our lives that act as our cheerleaders and who are great for our self-esteem. They lift us up and make us feel great in our own skin. There are also places we can go that promote the same feelings. The beach is one of those places for me. The rush of the ocean and the wind in my hair just make me happy and make me feel that this life is amazing.
We also often have people around us who bring us down. Or maybe it’s a particular place or situation that makes you feel inadequate or self-conscious. It’s important to be aware of these people, places, and situations that bring you down. When you know who and what they are, you can guard against them and if possible avoid them.
Become Aware Of Negative Energy
Your self-confidence takes the biggest hit when you are unaware of the person or situation you’re engaging with. When you feel blind-sided, it hurts, it and it’s hard to recover and rebuild your self-esteem and courage. I like to think of how these people, places, and situations affect us as negative energy. Your first task is to become aware of this negative energy and realize where it’s coming from before it hits you. By simply being aware you avoid being surprised.
Try to identify the sources of negative energy in your life. Do you have certain coworkers, friends, or family who gossip like it is a competitive sport? Hearing all that negativity impacts you, participating in it impacts you as well. Does social media make you feel bad about yourself and make you feel less than others? Does social media bombard you with bad news and negativity? Think about all the sources that allow negativity to seep into your life and you will be better prepared for it in the future.
Guard Against Negtivity And Neutralize It
Once you are aware of what or who is bringing you down, you can start to guard against it. One of my favorite ways of doing this is to expect it going in and realizing what’s causing it. For example, if your cousin always gives you a hard time about your weight, it may help to realize that she’s putting you down because she’s not happy with her own life. If you feel judged by coworkers, it helps to know that they may be doing it to make themselves feel better. Realizing this going in will go a long way towards neutralizing things. Of course another way to guard yourself is to do what you can avoid interacting with the people that bring you down and of course avoiding the places and situations that make you feel bad.
Disengage Until You Feel More Confident And Courageous
Last but not least, avoiding people, places, and situations that will bring you down is always an option. If you know a conversation with your sister will make you feel less confident, or you feel depressed about your life every time you open Facebook, avoid those people and places for now. Take a break and focus on building up your confidence and your self-esteem. Focus on allowing positive energy to flow into your life and actively seek the people and places that allow for this.
Instead of going for that weekly brunch with your sister see if she wants to hit up a movie instead, where the talking is limited. Install plugins on facebook that block your “downers” such as animal cruelty posts and politics. “Like” a bunch of positivity and affirmations pages so your feed is flooded with the good stuff. When you’re ready, you can go back to spending time with those people or hanging out at those places and see how it goes. Often the experience is completely different for you when you approach it in a new and more confident manner.