I admire attachment parenting philosophy quite a bit and that is primarily what guided me when my babes were little. I have mentioned in the past though that my endeavor to be a good, attached parent kind of lead me to a place were I was lost, frazzled, and on the verge of a divorce. I felt like I was a slave to my kids every need and only now with more modern books on AP, like Mayim Bialik’s Beyond the Sling am I seeing warnings to make sure that marital and personal relationships as well as career not be sacrificed to the AP Gods. It is really easy to let AP or other similar parenting philosophies turn into permissive parenting with the parents being afraid to be the authority in their own homes.

And yet despite my love of AP, some of my authoritarian upbringing always popped up and it made me feel selfish and guilty. Should I really just be flat out saying no to this request or should I be looking for a compromise that will show that I am respecting my child’s wishes and desires as an individual? Should I be down on the floor playing Legos with my child to show I am a playful parent or is it okay to do what feels right to me…which is require him/her to self entertain (and quietly) so I can enjoy a cup of tea and a phone call with an old friend? I was constantly questioning how instinct was leading me to react/parent/discipline and how I felt I “should” be parenting because this or that book on AP or cooperative parenting said I should.

In hindsight I wish I had just listened to my instincts more. This is not because I think I made mistakes (though I am sure they are many) but rather because I let parenting become my career and my life as a stay at home mom and my self worth became largely wrapped up in that. With two boys on the autism spectrum that is just a recipe for disaster. It was only after my family almost broke in half that I realized that if mama isn’t happy and satisfied in her own personal and professional life…no one is going to be happy.

I decided to make it my goal to take the upcoming year (2011) and devote it to self care. I didn’t ignore my kids or my husband but I carved out time for myself each and every day, sometimes several hours of the day and did stuff just for me. I went to the library, I went to the movies, I got pedicures and manicures, I went to the gym 4-5 days week, I went thrift store shopping, and I refused to take kids with me if I didn’t want to. Heck, I took a solo two-day vacation and have another booked in a couple months. Previously, I always hated it when I heard women say they were trying to find themselves but I understood it perfectly after that year was up. The pre-child me, who had many and varied interests, was back in full force.

Anyway, that was a really long winded intro to telling you about a parenting book I recently read and throughly enjoyed.  The book is Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. It was written by Pamela Druckerman, who is an American living in France and raising three kids there. She wrote the book after seeing how much differently American children behave than French Children. While her 18 month old was bouncing off the walls in a French restaurant and making her consider eating at home forever more, the French babies and children were happy and chatty yet largely docile. French parents were not frazzled and stressed, instead they seemed to really enjoy parenting. After finding a study that showed American parents were twice as likely to consider themselves unhappy with child care when compared to French parents Druckerman decided she wanted to know what French parents were doing differently.

I must say that I absolutely loved the book and it gave me so much food for thought. So much about AP and other child centric parenting philosophies, like radical unschooling, lead parents to focus on the needs and wants of their children to the exclusion of everything else. Radical unschooling even boasts the idea that you never say “no ” to your child…you always find a way to say “yes”. Hearing no will kill their spirits or something. French parents also believe that children should be respected and their wishes honored but only in balance with the needs and wishes of everyone else in the household. French parents believe in teaching their children from infancy how to exhibit self control and deal appropriately with frustration and the dreaded “non” or “no”. The reason those French babies and children were not acting up in the restaurant is because they had already had many months or years or training to wait and be “sage” or in control of himself or herself. And rather than being dull and sparkless children you get happy children who also have amazing manners and self control. This is in contrast to the American idea that exerting that kind of influence or restricting our kids in such a way will kill their spirit and crush them emotionally.

The French seem very rigid and structured in many ways and yet they also believe in letting their children devote time to nothing but pleasures and fun. They believe in speaking to their children respectfully and like they would any other adult, even from the time they are infants because they believe that all babies are rational and capable of learning. That aspect is very AP friendly even if some of their other ideas are not (no co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, etc.). In many ways they are AP parents who just never let the the household become child centric in any fashion and parents who are not afraid to be the authority in their homes. And amazingly enough all the French seem to be on the same page with this. The way the French children are parented at home is the same way they are cared for in government run creches (or daycare), which sound amazing BTW. If France is what right-wing Americans have in mind when they talk about socialism, then we need lots and lots more of that evil socialism please!!!

Overall I think the book has a lot of value and the arguments made for stricter households, proper manners, and not becoming a slave to your children are well worth the read. I didn’t agree with everything of course, such as not breastfeeding past 3 months, but most of it I quite heartily agreed with. It was also a true pleasure to read. How many parenting books keep you up at night long past bedtime?? A resounding A++ and I really hope there will a follow up that deals with parenting French teens, since I am one year away from that milestone.

equilibre (eh-key-lee-bruh) – Balance. Not letting any one part of life – including being a parent –  overwhelm the other parts.

Refreshing.

Our life with autism… I don’t talk about this subject much and that is because it is very uncomfortable for me. It means walking a fine line between sharing my life and sharing too much about my children, who deserve privacy. It also means letting my dirty laundry air, so to speak, and admitting to everyone that our family life isn’t pretty. Hopefully I can tread well with this post and not think I need to go back and edit out various parts. ;)

This past week has been a roller coaster ride of emotion for me. I had a very long chat on the phone with one of the school psychologists who will be working with my youngest son during his transition to Kindergarten this Fall. I will also meet with her and some of the others who will likely be working with him, this morning. I think she wanted to prepare me to hear some difficult things but this has actually been a long time coming. My youngest (6) has been in a special needs preschool program for three years now. He has a speech therapist and an occupational therapist. We have not yet sought that official medical diagnosis but I have known for a very long time what the problem is…autism. With a 12 year old autistic son we know well what it looks like. At any rate the psychologist told me that he would most likely be getting an “educational diagnosis” of autism from the school, so that they could plan his IEP and services accordingly.

I was disheartened to hear that he has actually regressed quite a bit this year and it confirmed what I also noticed. The boy who could count to the mid teens last year is lucky if he can count to five now. His hyperactivity has increased and his ability to follow directions has decreased. His temper flares are getting worse even if his social interaction is getting better. He has many, many challenges to face and they are very different than what our other autistic son faces. It was this “new territory” that has made me want to read up on autism spectrum disorders more.

Both our boys have two very prominent common denominators and #1 is social awkwardness. They do not know how to read social cues, pick up on how others are feeling or reacting to them, or communicate and make friends with other kids easily. This makes them the “weird” kid in school. What comes so natural to many kids, the ability to interact and connect with others, is hellish and frustrating. It also means it is easy for them to be either the bully or the bullied. My oldest has been both. My youngest has also been bullied but so far cannot even recognize that he is being persecuted. They are just THAT out of touch with social situations.

#2 is devotion or obsession with certain hobbies and topics to the exclusion of everything else. With my oldest it might be fishing or paintball. With my youngest it is dinosaurs. These are the only things they want to talk about and can do so for hours, literally, much to the frustration of other kids they come into contact with. Because of issue #1 they never understand that give and take requires them to actually talk about other people’s interests too. It just never occurs to them that others may not like these subjects or not want to listen to a two hour lecture about them. As far as they are concerned the world revolves around them and their interests.

There are also numerous differences in their disorders though. My youngest paces, waking back and forth across rooms constantly, for hours at a stretch. He will pace until he literally collapses in exhaustion. My oldest makes wild hand gestures and clicking sounds. He will also emit high pitched screams out of the blue and for no reason. He is often not even aware that he did it. The 6 year old has to micro manage every detail of his day, picking the exact episode of Team Umizoomi he has to watch and the exact food he must eat and will choose not to eat if you don’t have what he wants. The 12 year old has a fear of crowds and will insist on wearing hooded jackets even in summer so he can “hide” from other people in crowded areas. All of this makes daily life challenging but ironically this is the easy stuff.

Our oldest boy has issues with being violent and abusive. He has ODD as well as autism. We have tried counselors and psychiatrists and we even tried medication for a brief spell. I often tell people it is like living with an abusive spouse only it is your child. I have been tackled to the ground in the past but more frequently I am called every horrible name in the world. Asking this child to do the dishes will result in a 10 minute tirade about how I am too stupid, lazy, and disgusting to do anything for myself. In general he seems to have very misogynistic attitudes about women and his sister is also a victim of his horrible commentary.

On the plus side though this kid is wicked smart. Even at 12 years old he can tinker around with electronics and fix them. He recently fixed the mood lighting in our conversion van. He builds amazing things with blocks and Legos and he is way beyond his grade level in science and math. When he is actually interested in something he is also a very hard worker.

My youngest son is a very lovey dovey and prefers women to men. Although I think he has learned a bit too much from his older sibling of late. His quirks are much more manageable in comparison but I think he will ultimately be considered academically handicapped.

How in the heck do you handle two very difficult boys with very different manifestations of this same disorder????? I liked the 8 guideposts from Raising Resilient Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders:

• Teaching and conveying empathy
• Using empathetic communication and listening actively
• Accepting our children for who they are – conveying unconditional love and setting realistic expectations
• Nurturing islands of competence
• Helping children learn rather than feel deflated by mistakes
• Teaching children to solve problems and make sound decisions
• Disciplining in ways that promote self discipline and self worth
• Developing responsibility, compassion, and social conscious

The book has a lengthy chapter to discuss each and they were incredibly helpful. I struggle with finding ways to show that I accept my boys for who they are without also giving them the impression that I accept certain unsavory behaviors or “tics”. I also struggle with empathy when I am feeling attacked, as I often am.

The only thing I would have liked to see is info on how to become more resilient as a parent because I think that is “key” to dealing with children with these kinds of issues. You have to be in a good mental and physical place yourself in order to devote the kind of energy it requires. Two years ago I literally felt like I was drowning with the stress of being a mom to these two special boys. My husband has always worked over the road, or second/third shifts so I have essentially been single parenting for the majority of the week for years. I had a wake up call that spurred me to join a gym and start taking time away for myself more often. I decided it was time to get a bit selfish and demand time for myself. It was literally the best thing ever. Once I felt better, I coped better and I parented better.

Typically I avoid reading autism books because I think I deal enough with these issues every single day but this book really helped me work through some things in my mind and I would like to find more. Do you have any autism book recommendations for me?

This book was a very important read for me though because it made the issue of climate change very personal and easy to understand. I love to travel and I would love for my kids and I to see all our wondrous National Parks and yet some of them are in very real danger of becoming impassable to hikers and travelers. Climate change is melting the glaciers that make an appearance in some, which not only affects the beauty of these areas it also means less water is making its way down to lower areas. Plants and animal life that rely on this water start to become endangered or extinct. Water sources that hikers need to survive start to dry up, making the area inhospitable. Scenic waterfalls dry up earlier and earlier and may eventually be gone for good. Can you even imagine Yosemite without its grand waterfalls???

The melting glaciers create mud slides and rock slides which make the area too dangerous for hikers and campers. The warmer weather also creates wicked storms the likes of which have rarely been seen before and they happen more and more often. This destroys some of the most scenic areas of the parks and also makes it too dangerous for people to go exploring. Hiking trails that once saw many thousands of hikers each and every year steadily become less grand and less hospitable to all manners of life from humans, to animals, to native plants and trees. The trees are also being devastated by insects that are not being killed off in annual frosts anymore. The pest population is permitted to go crazy and the overwhelmed trees are dying off by the thousands. The are some very real problems facing our parks that get worse and worse each year. Many of the park officials and scientists who have worked in these parks for decades feel that they may be shadows of themselves before long.

This is why Michael Lanza decided that his kids needed to see the most endangered parks NOW and they embarked on the year long adventure contained within the pages of Before They’re Gone. Lanza is a veteran freelance outdoors writer and photographer. He is the northwest editor of Backpacker magazine, where his articles about the impacts of climate change on Montana’s Glacier National Park and other wild lands helped Backpacker win a National Magazine Award. He also runs the website TheBigOutside.

I was invited to participate in the blog tour for his wonderful book and I decided to ask him a few questions about it. His answers are amazing and insightful…a must read for nature lovers! Below is the interview. Enjoy!

1. How did your work as an outdoors writer position you uniquely to see the effects of climate change on our National Parks?

For years, I’ve observed how much natural landscapes are changing. The evidence is recorded on maps, many of which are based on decades-old USGS data. I’ve seen dried, cracked earth in places where my map showed an alpine lake, and new lakes or barren talus in places where my map showed a glacier. I was making an off-trail traverse of the Bailey Range in Olympic National Park one September several years ago and ran into a family (parents with their grown kids in their late teens and early 20s) going in the other direction—the only people we saw out there. As it happened, the father was one of the authors of the Olympic Mountains climbers guide; he knew the mountains very well from decades of hiking and climbing. He pointed to a north-facing mountainside above the lake where we were camped, a slope that had just a few small patches of snow and mostly bare ground, and told me with a tone of disbelief, “I’ve never seen that slope not entirely covered with snow in summer.”

It’s disorienting on a couple of levels when a place does not look like what is shown on your map. I’ve puzzled over my exact location more than once. But then, realizing that I was actually standing where I thought I was standing, I’ve felt sadness and awe, and felt deeply disturbed over the idea that our lifestyles are actually altering the face of the planet. I can’t help but fear where this is leading us.

In April 2007, while researching stories for Backpacker about the impacts of climate change on national parks and wilderness, I skied into the Northern Rockies in Glacier National Park with a leading federal scientist there, Dan Fagre, who was predicting that the glaciers in the park would disappear by 2030. On a return visit to backpack for six days in Glacier in September 2009, I met up with Dan again. He told me they had revised that previous forecast because warming and glacial recession had speeded up faster than anticipated: the projected year for no more glaciers in Glacier National Park was now 2020. I thought, Wow, my kids will be just 19 and 17 then. This is not far off in the future—it’s right around the corner. Changes have been underway for years and are happening quickly, within the lifespans of people.

2. What was your biggest motivator for planning this trip and do you hope to do it again in the future?

Dan Fagre’s revised forecast about Glacier National Park’s glaciers and other research I was doing made me realize that many parks could be very different places by the time Nate and Alex are my age. But we also cleared a big hurdle in 2009 in terms of our ability as a family to make these trips. Our son, Nate, who turned nine that September, had been backpacking with me for a few years. But our daughter, Alex, who was six that summer, showed for the first time that she could handle adult-scale backpacking trips. That summer and early fall, we took a rugged, three-day hike in Grand Teton National Park, and a four-day hike in Zion National Park.

Now that we could take trips like this all together, I started thinking more and more in the fall of 2009 about just cramming in as many trips as we could in a year without the kids missing too much school. As I write in my book’s prologue, it’s easy to get caught up in life and not achieve the goals you set or see the places you want to see. I’ve long believed that you just have to get out and do things, because you never know what’s in store for the future. You can’t wait for opportunity to shake you awake—it’s not going to.

Do I hope to do it again? I’m constantly thinking about the next adventure we can take as a family; in fact, I’m usually planning at least three or four simultaneously, thinking about trips appropriate for their ages and abilities. This summer, as a family we’ll go rock climbing and backpacking or rafting in Idaho, hiking in New Hampshire’s White Mountains, and take a nine-day, hut-to-hut trek in Norway. On my tick list for a summer soon: a multi-week Western road trip, a big international trek, and a multi-week backpacking trip on a long trail.

3. After speaking with so many park experts and seeing the effects of climate change yourself, are you pessimistic for the future of our parks or are you optimistic that we can change our current direction?

As I wrote in my book, I choose optimism in part because I think it offers the only hope for the world our kids will inherit. But also, one consistent thread that ran through many of the interviews I did with scientists was the optimism they shared that the parks will always inspire us as much as they did our forefathers who decided to preserve these places. As Dan Fagre told me about Glacier, “It’s still going to be a beautiful park. The notion that it’s being changed ultimately by human activities is something people have to take responsibility for. These are really good things for people to be thinking about.”

I am optimistic that we can change. While there is great resistance to change, there is also great momentum in the right direction. My hope is that increased understanding of what we’re doing to the world our children will inherit, and how our cherished national parks are being affected, will help motivate society to summon the honesty required to do what is necessary and right.

4. What important lesson(s) do you hope that readers of this book will glean from it and what action if any do you hope they will take?

I wrote this book on two levels. On the surface, it’s about my family and the wonderful experiences we shared, which I know have already benefited all of us in many ways—and especially Nate and Alex, because they’re so young. I hope other families will be inspired to take similar adventures that are within their abilities and comfort zones. We too often think our kids can’t do something that’s physically challenging, or we worry that it’s unsafe. Kids are resilient and endlessly curious. Nate and Alex constantly surprise and impress me with how much they can do and how enthusiastic they are about our adventures.

I also hope the deeper message in my book, about climate change, helps motivate people to take action. We aren’t complacent about making sure our kids get a good education or teaching them to make smart, safe decisions. If we’re concerned for their future, we have to be equally engaged in this critical issue of climate. On a personal level, there are many choices we can make to reduce our energy consumption, from walking and biking local errands instead of driving whenever possible, to turning off lights in empty rooms, driving more efficient vehicles, insulating our homes better—there is a wealth of information out there on that subject.

Beyond that, we have to insist that our elected leaders take aggressive action to reduce our consumption of fossil fuels at a societal level. We have to write letters and vote for people who understand how important this is. That’s the kind of change that is really needed to bring emissions down to a level that avoids catastrophic climate change.

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The book: Before They’re Gone: A Family’s Year-Long Quest to Explore America’s Most Endangered National Parks

Photo Credit: Michael Lanza

One of the books I read was All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending. I have read tons of books about personal finance and frugality but I feel as though this book had a lot to offer those who (like me) are sick of the same old regurgitated advice over and over again. I think it also managed to challenge my thinking about money in many ways. You see I am a big David Bach fan. He wrote The Automatic Millionaire among many other books and essentially he talks about giving up those small things that add up (like Lattes) in order to save more over the long term and also making your savings automatic so that you never see much of your money, let alone spend it. After reading his book late last year and putting it into practice I managed to sock away I nice chunk of change. My husband’s 401K went from 2% contributions to 12%, a nice sum also started going from his check into our HSA account and my personal IRA. Amazingly we did not miss the money! I also managed to build up a nice emergency fund and contribute to my IRA from my own income. Woot!

Part of my strategy was to give up those small luxuries and divert that cash to savings. I don’t drink lattes though; my “latte” was my Greek yogurt habit and my love of going to the movies. I gave those up and only ended up feeling deprived and grumpy. Then our savings started to dwindle as we approached the cold weather months. Expenses go up for us that time of year and my husband’s work hours get cut due to lack of seasonal business. That time of year it is typical for him to have weeks at a time off and unpaid. When we came out on the other side of that drought I decided that if that daily yogurt and weekly movie made me happy then I should have them. Most of our money was being saved before we ever touched it and from me taking on extra work projects. That $50 a month spent on stuff I love was not a hardship on us. So I decided to put them back in the budget even if they did represent my “latte factor”.

In All the Money in the World the author, Laura Vanderkam, takes on the notion that money CAN buy happiness and she also disagrees with the idea of giving up those small luxuries that make us happy in daily life. She also thinks that by simply making different choices we can have more of those small luxuries. One of the best examples of this idea in her book is that of the $5300 or so spent on diamond engagement rings on average. She gives several examples of how that money could be spent on things that say “I Love You” and will bring happiness to the couple in daily life… such as date nights every Friday, bouquets of flowers once a month for years, etc. I absolutely loved her ideas on how we can make different choices with our money and that those small choices can bring us lots of happier moments in life. Another idea of hers that I loved was the concept of creating a best weekend ever on occasion and giving yourself $200 to execute it. I planned mine out in my head…

Friday night – Sushi bar, a movie, a margarita (with hubby)
Saturday – One of those local food tours I have been dying to try, Jeni’s Ice Cream, a museum (alone)
Sunday – The zoo or botanical gardens with the kids and steaks on the grill for dinner

I love this idea because it would be just as good as a mini vacation or getaway and yet the cost would be so much less. I know we have a hard time saving for the grand vacations we want and ultimately they would probably be as stressful as they are fun but a grand weekend I could do, easily. We can also do grand weekends that revolve around kiddie stuff.

Okay, so how else do you raise money for these small luxuries? In general most financial books advise you to give them up in pursuit of something bigger, like that Disney vacation or a fully funded IRA. This book doesn’t encourage you to raid your retirement fund or defund it. Rather it encourages you to make more money in creative ways. While some might feel that this is too simplistic, this is actually the route I instinctively took when I decided I wanted a bigger savings and bigger retirement account. When I want more, I work more. I do not decide to eat crap food that there are coupons for, cancel my Netflix, or do without my daily yogurt so I can save money. That ends up being pennies in comparison to taking on a few extra projects and bringing in lump sums of cash.

This past month I decided I wanted to pull the trigger and buy the iPad3 I have been wanting. Instead of seeing what money I could free up or save I went with the option of making that money over and above what I usually make. Doing it that way makes me feel better about spending that kind of money ($600) on myself. I ended up doing it actually with an ample amount to spare but made the colossal mistake of telling my husband I had my iPad money. Suddenly I found myself in an argument for why that money would be better spent by tacking it on to his overtime pay and buying a new-used vehicle instead. I will admit that the argument has merit but I still feel deflated about the iPad. :( I have my doubts that my iPad fund will get paid back as he says. Yet if I had gotten that iPad I would be energized and feel like taking on more work to fund the next thing we wanted…I see so much logic in the reasoning found in this book.

I also liked the advice to think about what you do with a $50,000 windfall or what you would change if you had unlimited money. Personally I would buy a hybrid vehicle, get a 3 bedroom house but stay under 1200ish square feet, hire a house cleaner, and arrange to have sitters more often so I can do date night every two weeks. I would also increase my food budget so we could get the cleanest, greenest, organic, and all around most nourishing food we possibly could. That is about it for my wants and I don’t even need to be rich to have all that. Okay, okay I would also like to take a year or two to travel around Europe and Asia.

If you are looking for better ways to use what you have and you like having your ideas about money challenged, this is a good book to read.

So, what do you think? When you need or want more money do you find all the ways you can scrimp and save or do you go looking for “new” money?

The cookbook is oversized, almost like a phone book, and it is full of high quality color pictures and amazing recipes. I am so impressed with it that I think all other paleo cookbooks (or any cookbook for that matter) are going to suffer under comparison.

The beginning section covers how the authors (a couple) met and fell in love with each other and paleo. It also covers what paleo is and what you need to get started. Then it digs in with one amazing recipe after another. I don’t know how anyone could ever feel restricted with the paleo diet but if you do, you only need to take a gander at this book and it will smack some sense into you.

Some of the winning recipes include:

Seared Ahi Tuna with Wasabi Mayo (one of my personal all time fave dishes)
French Omelet
Mint “Lamburgers”
Rosemary Roasted Turkey
Chicken and Vegetable “Lo Mein”
Duck Confit
Tropical Fruit Gazpacho
Mutton Stew
Cauliflower Rice
Carrot Cake

Everything is amazing!

This week my husband (who also adores this cookbook) made the Dates Stuffed with Goat Cheese. It was heaven on earth and I am not much of a date fan because they are generally too sweet for me. I have to eat them mixed up in something like raw cookies. These were incredible though and the almond meal that you dust them with just added the perfect touch.

This cookbook has now taken the top spot in our kitchen. We are looking forward to a very delicious spring and summer in this house with Make It Paleo.

The book, Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way, was such a breath of fresh air and I enjoyed it so much that I had to share. I devoured and enjoyed every morsel of this book from start to finish, even chapters that discussed baby stuff I will likely never be confronted with again until I have grandchildren. Actually this book really had part of me really longing to have another kiddo so I can experience some things I wasn’t that receptive to when my youngins were babes, like elimination communication. Yet by the end of the book I was sighing in contentment because I still have lots of my parenting journey left and we are in a place now where we can enjoy it without the sleep deprivation. ;)

The opening chapters go into what you can expect to learn and why this is such an important issue. Mayim takes her background in neuroscience and shows that attachment parenting not only makes sense logically, it is based in science as well. There are many scientific reasons and many biological reasons to parent this way and often that gets overlooked by those who would claim attachment parenting is too granola touchy, feely or prone to raising dependent brats. The science does not agree with these latter ideas… at all. Lots of good information to be had here for when you run across naysayers.

The chapters on natural childbirth, breastfeeding, constant holding, co-sleeping, potty learning, etc were all a little irrelevant for me, even though I do still have a six year old in my bed. I loved reading these chapters anyway though. I think this book would have been pretty darn near the perfect book for me back when I became a mom for the first time and I will be recommending it to all the moms-to-be that I come across. I also loved that it is a look inside the life this family unit and it holds nothing back. Being an attached parent can be very isolating in the first few years because you are essentially devoting your life to the very valid needs of your child who wants to nurse on demand, be held constantly, sleep in your arms, and otherwise be the center of your world. You also tend to stay away from social settings where others might try to make your parenting values seem bizarre. Getting to read about another mom experiencing all of this makes you feel less alone.

From here the books goes into consumerism and toys, media in the home, medical interventions, letting kids be kids, and gentle discipline. LOVED it all! There wasn’t anything that I recall that I disagreed with. In fact I think I must have looked like a bobble head with all the head shaking going on to show how emphatically I agreed with Mayim’s point of view on just about everything. I also loved how she kept confirming that despite her belief in these things she was by no means perfect in their practice. Many authors remind you that they are not perfect examples of what they preach and that their ideas are not meant to judge in any way but few get that message across as well and as believably as Mayim Bialik, in my opinion.

My favorite part of the book was the section on mommy needs and keeping your relationships strong. As I have said before, attachment parenting can be very difficult where balance is concerned. When you have young babies your time is devoted to them and their needs and it can be easy to forget that other relationships need nurturing as well. I was not very good about keeping this in mind and my marriage almost collapsed a couple times during those early years. Most attachment parenting books don’t even discuss this all import topic either.

I feel that when our children are young THEY should be the priority. That means breast feeding wherever and whenever baby is hungry, co-sleeping even when you’d rather have your husband all to yourself, and never letting my child cry or go without being held because I have “other things” to do. As my kids get older I think they benefit from seeing parents who love themselves, prioritize some of their own needs, make time for each other and the marital relationship, and have varied interests. As they get older they benefit less from having a shadow to meet their every need and more from seeing good examples of others doing and living for themselves. So in terms of priority for the first five or so years of their lives it was all about them. Now the priority list looks somewhat different but during those early years there were lots of things I could have done to make sure my relationship with my husband was secure and attached as well, even if it never involved a date night or even leaving the house. Thankfully I married a great man who put up with me.

So… I give this book a very enthusiastic two thumbs up and will be recommending it all around. It has sound science, great advice, logical answers to challenging questions and issues, and important information about often overlooked aspects about this style of parenting. Check it out when you have the chance!

Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way

This is problematic for an omnivore who has always viewed hunting as cruel an unnecessary. I realized even before I read this book that this makes me a big hypocrite. It is ironic that we had guns in our home in Arizona that we could grab quickly if we spotted any javelina or rattlesnakes on our property but that was DEFENSE. Going out to intentionally kill something that wasn’t bothering us… barbaric! That is why I wanted to read Girl Hunter: Revolutionizing the Way We Eat, One Hunt at a Time and I am glad I did.

It really did put it all out there how un-cruel hunting can be, especially when compared with the cruel lives inflicted on the animals that end up in our supermarkets. I know that factory farming is the epitome of cruel but I never quite understood that skilled hunting was and is the much more humane option of the two. It is one of those books that kind of reaches out and slaps you in the face with a big fat dose of reality. Of course if you have eschewed meat altogether then the logic will not mean much to you but for omnivores I think it is an important read.

The books follows Georgia Pellegrini to various places across the US and even in England, where she hunted various game. I appreciated the fact that most of the hunters she same in contact with were avid environmentalists and good stewards of the land they hunted. They also knew more about the animals they hunted and respected them more than most people in my opinion. There were only two hunters that left me with a bad taste in my mouth, the poacher that she calls out in one of her chapters, and also a boar hunter who I felt did not value his hunting dogs beyond their service to him.

Also in the book was information about hunting, the really strict laws that protect each species and the land, and also insight into the lives of all the species she hunted. The author was also refreshingly honest, even telling us about a bad shot that ended up causing an animal to suffer. Much of what I read was also stuff I have heard my husband say over and over, since he has tried to get me to hunt off and on for years. There is just something about reading it from a woman’s more delicate perspective that helped the message come through this time.

The best part of the book was hands down the recipes provided at the end of each chapter. Ms. Pellegrini’s background as a French chef translates into the description of each meal and your mouth is watering with the start of each new chapter. It made me want to try some things I never imagined I would want to try, like squirrel, which she calls the best tasting meat in the woods.

I cannot say that I am strapping on my rifle (I don’t even have one) and heading out into the woods tomorrow but this book was an important, eye opening read and I am glad I read it. My husband and I have been discussing it at length and dissecting our own preconceived ideas about hunting and living off the land. I would also love to meet the Girl Hunter someday!

How do YOU feel about hunting and the “messy bits” that some omnivores don’t like to be confronted with?

Anyway the 3 cookbooks…

Another Fork in the Trail – Vegetarian and Vegan Recipes for the Backcountry. I haven’t missed grains in the least since I abandoned them but the muffins on the cover of this book look heavenly, no denying that! As you can guess this is a recipe collection designed for the veggie based diets of outdoor enthusiasts… hikers, campers, backpackers, etc. When I got this book I was really excited to try some of these recipes in the spring. The quinoa berry muffins, hazelnut fig granola, and pumpkin breakfast bars were calling my name. Even after reviewing it with my grainless, primal eyes I still see tons of value in this book though. There are plenty of veggie based meals that do not include grains/beans and I love me some veggies. If you are eating vegetarian or vegan then this is an excellent cookbook to add to your library, one the best I have seen in a long while.

The Raw Truth: Recipes and Resources for the Living Foods Lifestyle - I think this is an excellent beginner book for anyone wanting to explore more raw foods. The recipes are simple and not daunting as many raw recipes can be and they look appetizing. I have dozens of raw food un-cookbooks and I hate it when they take a glamorous photo of something that looks like baby vomit and expect that we will actually want to make it. Recipes that caught my eye were the banana date pudding, Pesto Wraps (which I plan on making), and the Black Raspberry Prickly Pear, which I would also make if I still lived in a place where I could get cacti locally. I AM an Arizona girl living in the Midwest.

Most of these recipes, while I am sure they delicious, are not going to make their way to my plate anytime soon because they have lots of nuts and high glycemic fruit. Nuts are getting harder for me to digest the longer I stay away from grains (same with dairy) so I think my gut is likely healing from sensitivities I did not know I had and now it is objecting to other hard-to-digest foods. Fruit is perfectly okay but I am staying away from dried fruits and fruits high on the glycemic index like bananas and dates. Raw food recipes typically utilize metric tons of all of the above. Still want to make that prickly pear recipe though. Eating cacti is totally primal!

The Cooking Light Gluten-Free Cookbook – Since I don’t eat grains it goes to follow that a gluten free cookbook would be perfect right? Yeah, not so much. This book is full of recipes that incorporate gluten free flours not recipes that are grain free. It is actually kind of grain centric with lots of bread recipes, pasta, rice, and corn. That may be typical for gluten free cookbooks though. I never looked at one before. The Pan Seared Scallops with Bacon and Spinach and the Prosciutto Stuffed Pork Chops look good but overall there are not a lot of recipes I can use. When I flip through and see all those grains I don’t get a “cooking light” vibe. All that stuff would make me feel bloated and heavy. I would pass on this one.

Anyway, since the publishers were nice enough to send these books my way I wanted to give them a quick review. Even though I am not eating raw or vegetarian anymore I would still recommend the first 2 books for any who are. Off to write down some recipes from the primal books I got at the library. Be well!

When I heard that my bloggy friend Deanna Duke (ie Crunchy Chicken) was writing a book called The Non Toxic Avenger, I knew it would be right up my alley. Not only do I love her writing and her humor, I love the subject matter. It is near and dear to my heart, especially since her husband was diagnosed with a type of cancer that is typical to elderly folks and so was I. When her husband and son both received a heartbreaking diagnosis within the span of one week, she wanted answers. I appreciated very much reading about her journey, the answers she found, and her insights into the toxins all around us, toxins that are making us sick.

Deanna decided to get tested for a wide array of toxins and measure her “toxic body burden”. While she had been furthering green and sustainable causes for years she really believed that things like shampoo and deodorant were safe or the government would not allow them to be sold. After her personal experiences with her son and husband though, along with some insights gleaned from a book titled Slow Death by Rubber Duck, she decided to make some changes. She wanted to see what her toxic body burden was and if she could reduce it by eliminating sources of toxins in her life. This book is the result of that personal experiment.

When she got down to the nitty gritty of her experiment she analyzed ALL her choices and habits from the material used to make her eyeglasses to the jewelry she had in her jewelry box. Going along with her on this journey was very eye opening as she did an incredibly thorough job researching all potential sources of toxins in her family’s life. It also had so many aspects that directly related to me and my struggles. My first child was just a mess as far as health was concerned so of course I wonder if my own choices and toxic body burden played a role in his issues. For more than 9 months he had a very unhealthy home in my womb. Were his issues caused by vaccines alone or were my toxic shampoos, hair coloring, MSG Chinese take out meals, and nesting activities that included a big bottle of Windex a factor? These are the questions that can keep you up at night.

This is exactly why books like Deanna’s are so important. Young folks need to be made aware of the all the choices they are making that could adversely affect their health and that of their as yet unborn children. It is books like this that should be making the high school reading list! Instead of debating abortion in college, like I had to do, have students debate issues like this… the toxic nature of our lives. The abortion debate did nada for me in real life but this was info I could use!

Also discussed in the book were common health issues and what may be causing them. I had no idea for instance that a Swedish study in 2010 had found that children raised in homes with vinyl flooring, which can emit phthalates, were more likely to have autism (had vinyl floors for years AND a son with autism – we had the decked stacked against us). This clearly shows that environmental factors can be a culprit. ADHD, cancer, and early puberty in kids are also explored.

Some of the products that Deanna analyzed in depth include:

• Non stick cookware
• water repellent fabrics
• food dyes
• candles
• mammograms
• perfumes
• nail polish
• deodorant
• tap water
• pharma drugs
• pillows and bedding
• hair care products
• house paint
• alcohol
• heating oil
• soap
• makeup
• lotion/sunscreen
• food
• holiday decor
• menstrual products
• cellphones and computers

What makes all of it infinitely more interesting is that you are not reading a dry list of factoids. The information is shared much the same way a friend would tell you about what she discovered when she researched this and that and what it meant to their lives and health. I especially loved that she got household items tested with an XRF gun. A necklace she frequently wore tested way over the federal limit for lead, as did a charm on a bracelet her daughter wore. A PC laptop charger tested high for bromine levels but a Mac charger tested with no detectable levels. A small sampling of items tested raised a lot or red flags and made her wonder about other things in her home. It just goes to show that all those government regulations can end up meaning diddly squat in the end.

Criticisms about the book? I found myself wondering about the need to find substitutes for some things… like a wrist watch, lotion, or makeup for example. I got to thinking that there was some rationalizations of silly things but then I had to own up to the fact that this can be chalked up to our differences as human beings. I found it incredibly easy to forgo wearing a watch, putting lotion on my skin, or wearing a stitch of makeup… but that is me. I am also not a former model and I don’t occasionally appear on TV like the author. I was also generally not a fan of the idea that flu shots are a necessary evil. I don’t think I have ever gotten a flu shot and I know my kids haven’t either. It is unlikely we ever will but then again I don’t live with someone who has immunity issues due to chemo. I cannot really criticize anything in the book. I only disagreed with a couple small things or felt the rationalization for needing certain products didn’t resonate with me personally.

Overall the book is a wonderful source of information about our toxic home environment and how that contributes to our health. It packaged in an easy to read and humorous format that kept me glued to the book from the first page to the last. Since I tend to lose interest in many books quite fast that is saying quite a bit. I am very picky about my reading material so am always pleasantly surprised to pick up a book and find myself halfway through the book in no time at all. I would recommend it highly to all parents and those seeking to move beyond planetary issues alone and include more education about body burdens and sustaining our own health.

And I just have to add that I read this book several months before it released and shared my feedback with Deanna way back when. She included my endorsement in the opening pages of the book. Booyah! This is like the 3rd or 4th time I have been quoted or mentioned in a book but it never gets old. ;)

Enjoy!

Book Link: The Non-Toxic Avenger: One woman’s mission to reduce her toxic body burden

At the library recently I picked up Money Secrets of the Amish: Finding True Abundance in Simplicity, Sharing, and Saving. It sounded like a perfect fit for me. I am fascinated by the Amish, who live very near to me, and I am a big fan of simple living. I have also recently delved into the world of scrimping and saving, something totally new to me actually. We have lived comfortably for years and without a budget of any kind, but we have also lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck. We have been one disaster away from real financial trouble for years because we could not manage to save. Didn’t even have a savings account until September of this year… pathetic I know. Anyway, a book changed all that about 2 months ago but I was still looking for ways to save money so that my burgeoning savings account and IRA could be beefed up even more. Once I got started saving it became like a game of sorts and I liked the challenge of finding ways to continually add more and more money to my these accounts.

In order to save more money I have been reading up a storm about great savers and the Amish definitely qualify! I have been in several Amish homes and it is absolutely amazing how they survive and thrive on so little. Money Secrets was written by a journalist after she read an article about how the simple people were actually thriving after the recession of 2008. She was so keen to find out how they do it that she decided to spend some time in their neck of the woods and interview many Amish families. What also makes it interesting is that she was experiencing lots of money hardships at the time and was looking to put what she learned into immediate practice. Learning their tricks was needed for its practical application.

It was an interesting look into the daily lives and habits of these people and also an interesting look into how the author applied everything she learned. One of the chapters that had the biggest impact on me was about the UWMW principle, “Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do, Or Do Without”. The Amish use everything until it is threadbare or just a scrap of what it used to be and then they use it some more. I have to get MUCH better about sewing clothing that rips around here instead of just turning it into rags or finding someone to fix a broken piece of equipment instead of giving up and buying new. I also need to do a bit more “home recycling” of what might otherwise be considered garbage or recycle bin fodder. Right after reading the book I remembered how I wanted to go thrifting for some baskets to go under our bathroom sinks. After looking around our house a bit I found a couple cardboard boxes that will do instead and I can even paint them using Tempera paints we have on hand if I want to. When the Amish need something simple (like a storage container) they figure out how they can get it without buying it. When they need something big they still try to find out how they can get it free… scrap yards, junkyards, dumpsters, etc. I recall that when my grandmother died a few years ago there were some Amish at her estate sale. They bought up old stuff from the barn that I would have assumed was trash but I imagine they took the stuff home, cleaned up 20 years of grime, and it served them well for many years. I want to be that thrifty!

Other interesting chapters addressed things like instant gratification and how patient the Amish are when it comes to their want list, gifting during special occasions and holidays, buying in bulk, and being frugal foodies. After reading I really wanted to find an Amish grocer in my area so I can see their bulk offerings and I got a hankering for Shoofly pie. Oh and next spring I will insist that my hubby find an Amish source for grass fed beef because the prices the author started paying were staggeringly low.

The only thing that bothered me about the book was that sometimes the author would relate how she asked one of the Amish a question and then she would get sidetracked by some funny reponse or story and then never share the true answer to the question. A couple times I was left scratching my head and going “Is that it?” but otherwise it was a very enjoyable book and it really got my wheels turning about how I can bring some of that simple abundance into my life and save some pennies to.

Enjoy!

The concept behind it is very near and dear to my heart since I call myself a nourished vegetarian. That primarily means that I subscribe to WAPF ideas while maintaining a vegetarian diet. More specifically it means I try to eat a nutrient dense veggie diet. Thrive Foods is one of the best books I have read though that explains exactly what that means.

It was Brazier’s search for foods that would help him recover fast and make the greatest gains in his athletic training that lead him to the ideas in this book. He figured that if he wanted to keep improving his body and performance then he needed to concentrate on the regeneration process our bodies go through after we exercise. How well and how fast we regenerate depends on our cells – the biological building blocks. If our cells do not have everything they need to function they experience what he calls nutritional stress. At first Brazier did what most athletes do… consume mass quantities of food thereby consuming mass quantities of nutrients. When he didn’t get his desired results he decided to analyze his food choices more carefully and realized that being fed is not the same as being nourished.

He discovered that macronutrients is what he needed to be looking for. Foods that had the most bang for their buck or the most maronutrutrients per calorie, ie nutrient density. What amazed me was the idea that is our body’s search for missing nutrients is what causes us to feel hungry and not a need for more fuel (calories). I always thought  that when we felt hunger pangs it is was calories to keep the home fires burning that we needed. But after reading this book it was a light bulb moment for me because true enough if I eat a big handful of pretzels/crackers I will be hungry literally 5 minutes later. If I eat a banana though, I am satiated for awhile, even if it had less calories in it. It is in fact nutrients our body is asking for and here I thought my ravenous hunger of late meant I was not eating enough calories to support my increased exercise and weight lifting activities. For the past week or so I have been very mindful of nutrient density when choosing foods and have experienced almost no hunger even though I ate less calories than previous weeks. Whether that will mean more muscle remains to be seen but I am pretty convinced.

Where this book differs from WAPF ideas on nourishing foods is obviously the fact that it encourages plant based foods above animal products. While it is true that animal products may actually be more nutrient dense there are still rampant problems with them. Brazier goes into a step by step comparison of how efficient it is to eat animals versus eating select plants and when you consider all the resources used to grow feed crops and raise animals it is simply more efficient and less of a strain on our planet to go with plant based foods, even when considering shipping of more exotic varieties. The book even addresses grass fed and pastured animal products and does not dispute that they are favorable to other animal products for a variety of reasons. But he makes a convincing arguement for why these types of products could never be available to the whole planet. There simply would not be enough to feed everyone and that makes it unsustainable in the long run. I read the chapters that discuss this with great interest and I have read opposing ideas as well (ala The Vegetarian Myth) and Brazier definitely makes the most compelling and researched case.

The second half of his book goes through a variety of foods, page by page, highlighting why they are nutrient dense, healthy food choices. Then it concludes with 200 recipes. Many of the recipes came from celebrated chefs who specialize in plant based cuisine and this was done so we would get an amazing array of tried and true dishes that taste good. I plan on making many of them myself but I started with the Parsnip Oven Fries. I wanted an after school snack for my kids and this french fry look alike hit the spot. They cooked up nice and crispy but a bit too dark and that was my fault for gabbing on the phone while they were baking. Served them up with some catsup and the kids thought they were regular old fries (which excited them because I never make fries) with just a bit of an “off” taste. Plus they were full of healthy fats via coconut oil.

Will be trying some of the other recipes soon. I already see improvement in energy levels since reading Thrive Foods. It just makes you all that more aware of the nutrient density of the foods you are choosing and when I am aware I make better choices and get more nutrition out of my food overall. At the very least it has spurred me into eating more fresh fruit throughout the day, which has done wonders for the skin. LOVE the title too… it is about being nourished instead of just fed and it is about thriving instead of just getting by.

“Like” Brendan Brazier’s Facebook page for some free recipes from the book. Enjoy!

Tiffany: Why should non vegans look into adding more raw foods to their diet?

Chef Bryan Au: Vegans and everyone should eat more organic fresh fruit and vegetables because it is very healthy and doctors always recommend it too. With my recipes it is so much fun, fast and easy while being incredibly delicious too! And all my recipes are made out of fresh organic fruit, vegetables with some nuts or seeds so you don’t have to worry about getting “enough” because you will! It is also very new with amazing flavors and assortment of new desserts and recipes to enjoy. It really is for everyone. And everyone absolutely loves it!

Tiffany: Do you think your recipes are easy enough and tasty enough to fool those strapped for time or dead set against “health food”?

Chef Bryan Au: Yes definitely! I actually designed ALL of my recipes to look and taste even BETTER than everyone’s favorite junk foods, comfort foods and international menu. I did this on purpose because we all enjoy these foods the most. But I was able to combine all my years of being a chef, culinary expert and was finally able to combine perfectly the two worlds of junk foods and have it be actually the most healthy food on the planet! It is very incredible and you have to experience it yourself. My recipes are actually the most creamy, decadent and gourmet yet so simple and tasty!

Tiffany: What are some of your favorite recipe recommendations for those just getting started with raw foods?

Chef Bryan Au: Many people really love my Pasta Alfredo because it is so simple to make yet so refreshing and flavorful it is a great introduction into how amazing Raw Organic Cuisine can be and then of course ANY of the desserts will instantly make anyone and everyone a huge fan of Raw Organic Cuisine and they will totally understand and want more as a result! I have seen this happen many times. But I do have more than 100+ recipes to choose from and anything or everything that you already enjoy I have a raw organic cuisine recipe or version of it that is fresher, faster, healthier and even more amazing! My goal is to make Raw Organic Cuisine the Main Food Trend in 2011 and Media Diet because it is so delicious, fun, and new with tons of health benefits. No other new “diet” or cuisine even exists or can come close so please give my new recipe book ECO CHEF BRYAN AU Raw Star Recipes: Organic Meals, Snacks & Desserts In 10 Minutes a try I promise you will love it and it already has become a major Food Trend in 2011 all the schools will be using it and you will see it everywhere.

Tiffany: Do you need any special equipment to whip up these recipes?

Chef Bryan Au: In general you can make most of my recipes with a very sharp knife, a cutting board and a good blender. But for a few recipes you do need a Good4U Dehydrator but even if you do not have one you can sometimes use the sun or a oven to dehydrate the recipes. But I would say 95% of all my recipes can be made with the sharp knife, cutting board and a good blender and most people have those already in the kitchen.

When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 I moved from Ohio to Arizona so I could go to one of the best doctors in the country. His treatment is a mix of conventional and non-conventional and he encourages diet and other alternatives as methods of cure as well. One of the first things he told me was to stop to eating meat and dairy. The reason? They encourage acidity in the body and cancer cells LOVE acid environments. Meat and dairy would in fact contribute to an environment that makes cancer very happy. Later on a I read several books that backed him up and one of those is The pH Miracle: Balance Your Diet, Reclaim Your Health.

It is a very eye opening book and shows with perfect clarity why a diet based upon acid foods like meat and dairy are NOT a good idea. Of course this is not to say that you cannot ever eat these things but the typical person is not striking a balance between acidic and alkaline foods. The book goes into the exact things that happen when our body is too acidic… it is like giving your cells and acid bath and giving a place for things like Candida (yeast) a place to thrive.

In all honesty the diet at the back of the book is quite radical and there is NO way I could live on it long term. Cold cucumber, avocado soup in the morning doesn’t sound yummy. But thanks to pioneers in the raw foods movement I can drink my green smoothies in addition to other greens and veggies throughout the day and strike a good balance. Or so I hope. ;)

This book inspired me to get some pH testing strips to test my pH daily to see how I am doing. I also got some  pH booster drops to add to my water. Eventually though that became cost prohibitive and I got an Alkamate, portable alkazing water bottle instead. LOVE it! One of the first reviews on that page was from someone who claimed they were to acidic and were getting hives. Ironically I get hives when I stop drinking my smoothies and let my diet get out of whack. I have never been able to explain way they come on but perhaps it too has to do with my pH. After filtering my tap I now add the pH drops and some lemon for the ultimate alkaline water. I have already seen a difference, especially in my skin. This month my period crept up on me and caught me by surprise. My skin usually gets oily and a just a bit blotchy a couple days before that time of month but this go round… nada. If the outside cells of my skin react this way to a more alkaline environment I can only assume the inside cells are swimming around in joy.

Do you know what your pH is?

Now she wasn’t depressed or even unhappy really. She had/has a very good life but she still found that she had trouble living in the moment and “feeling” that happiness that she knew she should be feeling. She was nagging her husband, being short with her kids, blowing off friends, and in general not making every minute count. So she decided to start a one year happiness project where she studied happiness, started singing in the mornings, acting happy even if she wasn’t feeling it, cleaning her closets, and trying to have more fun.

This book resonated with me for a couple reasons. Like the author I have a good life and tons of reasons to be happy. I have great kids, a great husband, a nice home, we don’t struggle with money or have any real problems. But I also have trouble sitting back with a smile and thinking .. “I am happy right now”. Why is that? I have the habit of thinking “I will be happy when”…. and then following that up with some dream or goal. The problem is… when you reach that goal it changes to something else or if you haven’t managed to reach that goal then happiness feels elusive to you. That might make sense if there were not a hundred other things you could be and should be happy about right now!

Another reason I liked this book is because I started my own happiness project of sorts at the beginning of the year. I just didn’t realize it at the time and I didn’t really discuss it here. I decided that instead of making a bunch of New Year’s Resolutions I was going to make this the year I took care of ME. Whatever else I accomplished this year I was going to get back to putting self care at the top of my to-do list. For the past 10 years I have put all of myself into taking care of my kidlets and putting my self dead last. With my youngest turning five I decided it was time to start taking care of me again. Of course my kids benefit when I am feeling good as well… I have more energy, I want to do more fun activities, and I snap at them less. Its a win-win for all and I am not sure why I allowed my needs to come last for so long. The other aspect I wanted to work on was my marriage… which has had an equally low place on the totem pole since kids came into the picture. But I quickly began to see that taking care of me was equally beneficial to my husband… I nagged less, I wanted to spend more time with him, and we got along MUCH better when I could see the forest through the trees.

Sooo… even though I wasn’t calling it a happiness project I had started one of my own design already and so reading this book and seeing the steps the author was working through was such an encouraging thing. Each month she chose a theme to work on and had a checklist of things she needed to accomplish for each. For the first month it was Vitality. Her main goal was to boost energy and she set about doing this by getting more sleep, exercising better, organizing her mental and physical clutter, tackling her to-do list, and acting more energetic even if she didn’t feel more energetic. Each month was similar to this and I LOVE the concept. I have been working towards vitality myself for awhile now. In the past month I decided to go to bed at 10PM instead of 11 or 12. I joined a gym that I love and have been taking water aerobics classes. I have also been organizing and decluttering. I categorized it as part of my self care plan but it fits nicely within the vitality theme as well.

My marriage goals work well with the second month’s theme… Remember Love. I also think I skipped ahead to month 7 with Buy Some Happiness because I have been buying myself flowers once a month to perk up my desk. Okay not quite flowers… some blooming branches, but same difference. They make me happy and normally I would feel guilty splurging on something like that. Why do moms always feel guilty when we treat ourselves?

Now I think I am going to be more mindful of having a theme and a checklist to work on each month. Breaking it down into bite size chunks makes it easier to tackle. The best part though is that you can really start to identify what makes you happy and that you are quite happy already most days. It is no longer that elusive thing you are aspiring to… it was already there you just had to learn to be mindful of it. We can get off the roller coaster of thoughts that tell us we will be happy when this or that happens. We can be happy now… as in right this minute, if we want to be.

Do you also have trouble being happy in the moment?

It follows along on the real life adventure of Kristin Kimball who was a writer working in NYC. She took an assignment in PA interviewing a young farmer who was running a CSA, local food operation. The interview was quite hard to get because she was put to work as soon as she walked onto the farm but she ended up being smitten by the gentleman farmer (Mark) and by his vision. Fast forward a little while later and they are engaged and moving to a ramshackle farm in upper New York. Mark’s vision is to create a farm where they provide everything their members need… milk, eggs, cheese, grains, maple syrup, honey, beans, herbs, flours, fruits, veggies, and meat (beef, pork, chicken). It was to be a very ambitious “whole diet” CSA. The price tag per person would $2900. Oh and instead of tractors and machinery they would use draft horses only.

Their journey was so engrossing and my goodness if anyone has romantic ideas about farming this book will put that to rest. It is VERY HARD work and while there were numerous moments of elation and satisfaction there were also numerous mishaps and sad moments. I felt exhausted emotionally just reading all of it!

The book really gave me a lot to think about. I have always wanted to start or be part of an eco village where we raised all of our own food. My husband always looked at me like I was nuts but in the past year he has been bringing up “his” idea of a commune where a small group of folks all live on the same large property, work together, share bio vehicles, grow food, raise livestock, etc. Uh..huh.. passing off my dream as his idea, LOL. He should read this book to get an idea of what is involved.

I really felt as though I was a part of a grand journey while reading and was deeply invested in getting the rat problem under control for instance. I was also devastated when an injury and old age claimed their original two draft horses. I was bawling my eyes out. It also made me face up to my discomfort with the idea of raising animals to eat. I am all over the place with that one. I always said I might eat meat again if I had a hand in caring for it because my aversion to meat is more related to health and my disdain for factory farming. After reading this I am confused again because it was a very graphic and candid look at what that entails. But on the flip side the way author describes the luxurious taste of liver makes it sounds almost orgasmic.

I was also less than thrilled with the hard work their draft horses had to do. It got me thinking that maybe I am a big weanie who just doesn’t understand the life of work animals. While growing up my grandfather had cattle dogs but no cattle and he had cutting horses but again no cattle with which to work these animals unless he was at a horse show. The work animals rarely had to work. I was literally biting my nails off when I read along as the draft horses got spooked and tore off down the road and Kimball was anticipating finding them dead or badly injured. Oh yes, I am a HUGE weanie. This type of stuff makes me ill to think about… animals hurting.

Anyway I LOVED the book and the way I got to take a peek inside the life of another and come to feel as though I knew them. This book has some great writing. The only thing I felt it needed was pictures. LOTS of pictures of their home, their farm, and all the people they spoke of in the book.

Below is a video put out by the publisher and gives us a peek at the author and a day in her life. Enjoy!

I just finished up an awesome new book last night. Crazy Sexy Diet: Eat Your Veggies, Ignite Your Spark, and Live Like You Mean It! by Kris Carr. I was looking forward to this book for a long time because Kris Carr and her ideas have a lot of personal significance to me. Kris’s first book, Crazy Sexy Cancer, was the first one I read after my cancer diagnosis and it was amazing to read about her journey with cancer just as I was beginning my own. Kris was diagnosed with a rare and deadly cancer at age 31. She had lesions or tumors all over her liver and lungs and was told there was nada anyone could do about it. So she decided to find her own treatment which began with macrobiotics but ended with what you read about in Crazy Sexy Diet… “a low fat, vegetarian (or vegan) program that reduces inflammation and balances the pH of the body with lush whole foods, low-glycemic fruits, raw veggies, alkalizing green drinks, and superpowered smoothies”. It is not a diet book as in lose weight either… it is a diet book in the sense that it highlights how to create a lifestyle change.

Kris’s cancer went dormant and has been that way for a few years now. She is gorgeous, vibrant, and inspirational.

I appreciate this book and its ideas because they are soooo similar to mine.. although I am sure her earlier works and her website helped me to form some of these ideas. I eat vegetarian, I try to avoid grains and gluten as much as possible, I love to eat high raw and I am mindful of the pH of certain foods which is why meat is a no-no and dairy is not front and center. I am a mix of Crazy Sexy Diet, Nourishing Traditions, and The Kind Diet but the emphasis is usually on the first one and after reading this book is likely to remain so.

Nourishing Traditions folks eat too much meat for my liking and not enough veggies. The macrobiotic diet (Kind Diet) emphasizes too many grains… Crazy, Sexy Diet is “just right” when I add some pastured eggs, and small amounts of grass fed dairy. The only thing I saw in CSD that I did not care for was recipes with tofu… yeah soy is not a health food IMO. It is easy to just add double the veggies and get rid of soy though.

The book has a 21 day cleanse for those wanting to get started right away. It is a detox really. There are also recipes in the back for the cleanse and advice on doing a juice fast one day a week. Fasting one day a week is something I am now really considering.

But the book does not stop at eating. It also has advice on dry brushing (which I also plan to start), supplements (gotta buy some E3Live), meditation, exercise, positive thinking, bathing, a healthy home, ect. Spirituality too. I got a kick out of seeing an alter of sorts in the book (I assume it is Kris’s) that had a mish mesh of different deities/religious ideas.. aka Jesus on the cross right next to the Goddess Lakshmi. I have a mix of sorts like that as well. But if you are staunchly in one camp have no fear because it does not preach, just encourages spirituality in whatever form you wish.

It is really a powerhouse book with so much good information I could not put it down. I recommend it to all: Crazy Sexy Diet. As a side note it has already achieved best seller status and it has been selling out in stores and even Amazon. It’s THAT good!

I started reading it on Saturday morning and by noon I was knee deep in decluttering my bedroom , which is the first room mentioned in the book. Our closet was still full of boxes I never bothered to unpack, clothes I haven’t worn because I don’t like them, and full of kids clothing and possessions. Someone, who shall remain nameless, likes to make only one stop when putting away clean laundry and thus my walk-in closet is the catch all for everybody’s stuff. It took about 3-4 hours to completely clean that room. I ended up with 4 large boxes of giveaway stuff and all the dust bunnies were swept away, even the ones under my bed. And of course I had some serious “talks” with my kids about things like rotting banana peels thrown under there. No more eating in mom’s bed is a new rule.

I really thought we were very “decluttered” after two moves but I still had quite a bit of old clothing I no longer wear. My youngest son and my daughter had lots of clothes they have outgrown, and sorry but toys abandoned in the back of my closet weren’t being missed, so out they went. After the bedroom you follow the author threw other rooms until you have your fifty. I have held off on finishing because my trunk is full of stuff I have to donate and I want to get rid of that first. But afterwards I will tackle those rooms with gusto. The author also recommends the process be about two weeks in length.

The last chapters are all about clearing out the mental clutter and it has lots of good advice for that too. By far my favorite thing about this book though is the personal stories told about decluttering, they were quite funny. There are also green tips sprinkled throughout for how to recycle many of the items you may donate.

Anyone else feeling that itch to spring clean even though it is still winter?

I may be one of the last people to review this book but alas I was number #60 on my library lending list. Does that tell you it is good or what? Well, either good or controversial… perhaps both, but I “mostly” enjoyed it. The book is Radical Homemakers – Reclaiming Domesticity From a Consumer Culture by Shannon Hayes.

It basically seeks to show how we all used to be homemakers (even the men) and how industrialization caused men to leaves homes for work and women to become the main homemakers. The women then had the lions share of home work and upkeep thus making many of them feel subjugated and feeling the need for some “liberation”. Companies stepped up to the plate to offer convenience products and foods which made women’s lives easier but it also meant the creation of a consumer society. Homes went from units of production… growing food, preserving foods, sewing clothes, bartering within their community… to units of consumption. We became consumers who relied on companies and corporations for most of our needs and high paying jobs to support all of this consumption. Many families even found that both partners needed to work outside the home to support this lifestyle.

Homemaking though is essentially where it starts though. What we can or cannot do in the home is what requires us to make all of these consumer purchases and spend so much time working outside the home. Shannon Hayes makes a case for why returning home and being homemakers improves family, community, social justice, and the health of the planet.

The first half is rather like a thesis making a case for how we have became a society of consumers and what that has meant for families, communities, and the planet. The second half shows us what we can do to get back in the home and make it a more self sufficient, unit of production. It does this by highlighting the lives of 20 radical homemakers and sharing their thoughts about how returning or staying home (sometimes mom AND dad) has been life altering and empowering.

I kept reading this book and thinking I knew a person or two who NEEDS to read it… usually die hard Republicans who tout the benefits of a capitalist society. There was however one area of the book I really did not like. It makes a case for why we might want to forgo the healthcare system and traditional health insurance and all the reasons why. That was all good and fine and it did seem to make exceptions for children. Then in the next breath it condoned choosing to stay at home and not seek out employment to cover these costs and instead sign up for Medicaid. That whole section just rubbed me the wrong way but I fully admit I am not so liberal in my views on welfare and healthcare. Then a few pages after that it makes an argument for why it is perfectly okay to live off welfare.

Okay I am down with living with less, simplifying, sticking it to the man, becoming self sufficient, going off-grid, and doing without but how is using tax payer funded assistance programs taking care of yourself? It isn’t and the argument for why it is fell flat IMO. These programs are not meant to be lifestyle choices. It is kind of like saying that you choose to raid the tip jar on the grocer’s counter for the rest of your life instead of finding a way to pay for your own groceries. Oh and tip jar contributions are mandatory for everyone else. You are not a self sustaining productive unit if you are taking government aid. The goal should be to get by without that.

I did however love the idea of building your friendships and your community so that you can support each other. Bartering was discussed at length and I think that is a key ingredient of self sufficiency in this day and age. I also liked the section on homeschooling.

Overall I like the message in this book and I think there is a lot to be gleaned from it. I am glad I got it from the library though, since it won’t be a book I read more than once.

I read a book about Magick, a finance book, a Feng Shui book (which helped me decide on a headboard to make for my bed) and read one of the best dang non-fiction books I have read in years called… The Bucolic Plague. I was laughing out loud by the third or fourth page and refused to put it down until I had soaked up every last delicious morsel.

It is essentially the story of two professional guys living in New York City. One is a former doctor who took a job with Martha Stewart’s empire. The other is a former drag Queen turned ad executive. They both had rural upbringings so they took an annual country drive to soak up the country and buy apples. It was on one of these trips that they discovered the 200 year old Beekman Mansion for sale quite a ways away from the city. They decide to buy and become gentlemen farmers. So begins their journey to growing their own food, decorating a mansion, maintaining a farm with 80+ goats, starting a business, and reviving the local economy in the sleepy little town they now call home. Oh and they try to do it all with a Martha Stewart like perfection after they appear on her show and she mentions that she would like to stop by and see their new abode.

It is a really great story with many twists and turns… from buying the farm, to bringing in a co-farmer, to acknowledging they may lose the farm and mansion during the economic collapse of 2008 when they both lost their jobs. It gives you a look into a world you would very much like to visit with people you would love to call friend… which I guess is why these two gentlemen ended up getting their own series on Planet Green called The Fabulous Beekman Boys. Season two of the show will begin early in 2011 so be on the lookout for it.

It tells the story of a little boy named Liam who lives in a very urban, factory town where little to no greenery exists. The opening visual is of a dreary looking city with large smokestacks, an abandoned railroad bridge, lots of abandoned buildings, and badly maintained homes and skyscrapers. Everyone stays indoors except Liam who likes to explore outside. One day when he is exploring he is run under the railroad bridge by rain and he discovers a door with stairs that goes up to the tracks. There among the broken tracks he sees a spot where a little moss and a small tree are growing and he falls in love with this tiny little garden.

Liam becomes the city “gardener” and helps this little spot to grow. During the long hard winter he makes plans and he prepares to welcome his greenery back. Well long story short he helps the garden grow so that it takes off like crazy and when the other city folk see how beautiful it is they all start gardening and the city ends up with rooftop gardens, planter boxes on their skyscraper windows, trees, bushes, and the old and forgotten buildings and abandoned vehicles are overrun by greenery. The most lovely feature is the railroad bridge. Since there is no train, the bridge is a green belt of gorgeousness that weaves it way through the whole city. My kids (4, 6) and I loved the story and the pictures.

Of course I thought it was a bit unrealistic that the smokes stacks were allowed to be overrun with greenery. Do these people not have to work anymore? LOL. It is nice idea but that bit of fantasy didn’t seem right to me somehow. I love the idea of greening our most urban and economically depressed areas but greening the landscape does not mean industry goes away. That is my only criticism though.

I highly recommend this book for you and your kiddos! Great story, great pictures, and a great message.