My toddler and I have two things going on right now that seem to be frustrating us both. He is a little over three years old now and two new developments are throwing us for a loop…speech therapy and potty learning.
My other two kids were both fully potty trained before age 3 so I am in new territory with Parker but I knew I would be since he also never really started talking either. It was because he could not communicate with me about eliminations and because I could not tell if he even understood the concept, that I held off with introducing him to the potty. But we are giving it a go anyway and so far it is very frustrating.
We got a little person’s potty so I could put it in the great room where he spends most of his time. The bathroom is just too far away. He really likes the Boon potty bench with its drawers for his potty book and cloth wipes. I also got him a dozen or so training pants since we won’t be doing disposable pull-ups. I also armed myself with Elizabeth Pantley’s book The No Cry Potty Training Solution. The book is really awesome by the way, very thorough and gentle on kids.
My toddler though looks confused whenever I put him on the potty, like he is not sure what I want him to do. BUT he is also refusing to wear diapers more and more. He will actually take off his diaper and lay it open on the floor and go play. Then when he has to pee he will return to the diaper and urinate on top of it. It is incredibly cute but also frustrating. Of course my mom will tell you that is why I am having these troubles…cause everything he does is so darn cute and I can’t lay down the LAW. Hehe.
Speech therapy is also not going so well. I will share yesterday’s details with you. We arrived at 9:30 am and went into the classroom. Parker immediately ran to a toy wagon they have there and was mad when I pulled him away and sat him at a table. He half heartedly answered some flash card questions for about 5 minutes. Then the speech lady decided to let him play in the gym with other kids for about 15 minutes. He LOVED that. One kid slapped him in the face for no reason and another kept taking a ball away from him but he didn’t even care, he was so happy to be playing in a cool new place.
After 15 minutes I took him back to the classroom which he was not happy about but he went without too much fussing. They gave him some watercolors to paint with and he did that for 10 minutes but he had trouble following their directions… dip brush in water, then in paint, paint, then dip back in water and rinse, then back in paint, etc. Obviously they didn’t want him mixing the colors but at home I could care less… they can make a mess or mix up paints to their hearts delight. He didn’t like his artistic expression being squashed or having the speech therapist’s hands on him the whole time as she made him follow her instructions.
I want to point out though that my 5 year old daughter was also sitting their painting and she did not mix the colors or make a mess and I have never taught her that he HAS to paint that way…it is something she learned on her own as she grew…that her art work would be prettier if she didn’t mix the colors or get the paper all splotchy. You do not have to have all these rules like that IMO…they will learn from experience and practice. Pride in their work will eventually lead them to mess free painting.
Anyway, the therapist wasn’t having much success with the paints so she took them away. All hell broke loose at that point. I have honestly never seen him throw a fit like that EVER. His face turned all purple and he was shaking like a leaf. He REALLY does not like this therapist and he was furious with me for making him sit there with her. He bit me at one point and if I didn’t have my jacket on, it would have been bad. Even still I have a painful bruise on my arm today.
At that point I kind of took over. I set him on my lap and she gave him play dough. I helped him make some animals with cookie cutters and I asked him to identify all the shapes and he did identify most. The therapist was happy to get some results she could write about in he folder and he was just plain happy again. After about 10 minutes he looked up at me and said… “Go to Car”. This meant it was time to go.
The therapist kept asking me if he has behavioral problems at home but the answer is no. He has been in a hitting phase lately but nothing major. When I told my hubby that she asked me that he responded simply “No, because we don’t make him do things he doesn’t want to do.” Amen to that…I am not in the habit of making my kids nuts.
When I told a friend what happened though she responded in way that placed blame on me and my husband. She said that we NEED to make him do things he doesn’t want to do to teach him that life is that way…that he will be forced to do as others say and he has to accept it. But I don’t want to teach my kids that they are powerless like that. I don’t want to teach my kids that other people get to call the shots and they can’t possibly know what is best for themselves just because they are kids. And why in the heck would anybody deliberately want to create dissent in their family like that? I will not try to “break” my son’s spirit to make him more docile for teachers. He is only three for cripes sake! He is supposed to be wild and free.
Anyway, that is where we are this week. I hope his next few sessions get better because he does need the help with his talking. As far as the potty learning goes, I guess we will just take it slow. Any tips and advice on that front?
Have a great weekend all!
