Many mom bloggers try to stay away from politics and religion but hey I can’t hide that I am deeply political and not so very religious. So yeah… I am going there. I don’t mind the cliche that since I am liberal I must also be Godless… it happens to be true. I do mind the fact that many have so many perceived ideas about what that means though. I can confidently say I can go toe to toe with any mom of faith in the values, ethics, and morality department. Traditional values, ethics, and morality I mean. Its all subjective… and I have no judgment for people who make their own rules.
I grew up in a heavily religious household… I was a preacher’s daughter. It was ingrained pretty early that God’s people are “good” people and other people are somehow inferior. In fact, in the church I went to, we were not even allowed to associate with people who were not of our faith. It was this that ultimately led me to start questioning things. I got out in the great big world and saw that there were lots of really GOOD non-Christian people. They were every bit as good and honorable as anyone I had ever met who professed to serve God. In fact, truth be told, lots of them seemed more honorable than those I grew up who professed to serve God. It was the crack that caused the whole thing to crumble.
Update: A few hours after I first published this post I got an email from a reader saying they wouldn’t be reading anymore because they “can’t read the blog of a Godless person.” I would be willing to wager they meant non-Christian. No matter how long they were a reader or what they may have gleaned from this blog in the past, somehow finding out I am not Christian makes me unworthy. She made my point for me.
Now I struggle with what to teach my kids about religion, faith, God, etc. Obviously I cannot teach them as fact, what I no longer believe. I have accepted that I am agnostic. I have also accepted that I will always be somewhat fascinated and bewitched by religious belief and rituals, especially orthodox sects. Personally I would REALLY like to take some Buddhism intro and meditation classes… but my husband’s schedule is not constant enough to allow for it. I am also fascinated by the beliefs of Orthodox Jews and the Amish. Growing up I was not permitted to explore other faiths.
My kids need to make their own decision about all of this. Whereas a deeply religious family “might” be intolerant of other belief systems being taught I want my kids to be free thinkers. Intolerant may be to strong a word since this is often viewed as protective rather than prohibitive but… ultimately I want to try and expose them to a variety of different ideas and let them use their own free will to decide what is best for them.
This is why my daughter attended a Christian school last year. Yes, it was hard to have her come home and ask us to pray at the dinner table or to hear her talk about Jesus so much. But then I relaxed and realized this is her journey. When my youngest goes to pre-school I want his first year to be at a Christian school too. And as a family we can explore Buddhism, Islam, Wicca, Judaism, Hinduism, etc. We need this Kids Book of World Religions I think.
It would be rather fun to send them to a different religious school each year but that might make it hard to develop friendships. And public schools in big inner cities are excellent for racial and religious diversity anyway. My kids are already interested in learning about Islam since so many children that attend their school are Muslim.
And of course the concept of spirituality without religion can be taught. That being the path toward a higher state of awareness, wisdom, or communion with the world and beings around you.
This past year I met a local man who insisted that Christianity is the basis of all that is good and virtuous in this world and that raising caring, ethical children could not happen without this indoctrination. I disagree. Even seeing how my kids are coming to love their planet shows me that he is wrong.
I just ordered Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief. It supposedly has over 100 activities for both parents and their children. This book covers every important topic nonreligious parents need to know to help their children with their own moral and intellectual development, including advice on religious-extended-family issues, death and life, secular celebrations, wondering and questioning, and more. Sounds like a good book. I am interested to find out what it says about celebrations cause I have a really hard time with Christmas… my oldest didn’t even know what Christmas was until he was 5 or 6 because I just wanted no part of it. Same with Easter. I still feel really uncomfortable with those two holidays and my husband pretty much detests the idea of celebrating them.
So what about you? How have you chosen to address the spiritual and/or religious path for your own children? Can children who are raised to learn only one faith be free thinkers?
