Depression Sets In

I know this feeling all to well. It is the same feeling I used to get postpartum. I would feel depressed because things in my life had drastically changed and I would go through a few days of sadness and uncertainty. Don’t get me wrong I was ecstatic about all three of my birth experiences but even so there was a feeling of loss because things were irreversibly different now. Life would go on as usual for everyone but me and that made me a bit sad. I am not sure quite how to explain it.

I felt the same way after my colon surgery. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and when I got out, I knew things would never again be the same and I was sad. I was nearly hysterical when my Dad, who flew out to be with me during my recovery, left to go back home.

Now I am feeling those familiar feelings again. I am not sure if it is related to my recent surgery at all. I am VERY upset that my husband (who is a truck driver) left last night to go back on the road. He will be gone about 4-5 weeks. I have been crying quite often and it doesn’t help that 2 of my 3 kids are sick and vomiting and I don’t have him here to help. I lay awake for hours last night just thinking how much I need him and want him here full time. Of course then I felt even worse that I had sent him on his way with me in tears. I am not a person that cries very often so he knew just how upset I was. This morning I happened to see he had dug through boxes last night to find a photo album of the two of us over the years…can you say crying jag?

Ohhhh, I hope I get out of this funk soon!