Yep…I have some news…not quite sure how I feel about all of it though. I think I am still processing. My son started out this school year at home after a horrible year at public school last year. He was very excited to do homeschooling, as was I. And I think we have done great together too….he is reading books now and that is a new development. Being home helped to restore some of his confidence too. I still think there is no better teacher than mom. I know exactly how to phrase things and get through to him… something teachers rarely catch onto because they have so many students all with different needs.
BUT at the end of the last school year we got some new neighbors and my son plays with them almost daily. He started to relay comments made by their parents about how he wasn’t in a “real” school and it started to make him feel bad about himself once again. In short, one of the kids next door is real jerk…and so are his parents (and I hope they are reading this). But despite how I feel about them and their attitudes my son likes to spend time with them. Having to wait until they (and his other neighborhood friends) get home from school to be able to play started to get rough on him. I took him to homeschool kids events and socials but he just didn’t click with any of the other kids.
The arrival of winter was another kick in the gut as he went from spending 5+ hours a day playing and exploring outside to staying in all day. If it was just cold outside with no snow…he didn’t want to be out there. And unfortunately we have had many cold days since early October (8-20 degrees) and only a few snow days.
My son indoors and bored is like having a caged tiger in the house. All his little quirks and tics (autism spectrum) came out full blast…including one that got REALLY bad. He will be sitting eating or playing and all the sudden emit a loud scream that could wake the dead. He doesn’t even know he did it and if you mention it he can’t explain why he screamed. Imagine that happening 2-3 times an hour. So the past couple months have been tough on us with frazzled nerves to go around.
I was not surprised then when he came to me and asked if he could go back to regular school. He missed being with other kids and having a busy schedule…especially when he sees his sister going to school and having all kinds of fun…pajama parties, a Thanksgiving feast, a Christmas play, and birthday invites from all her new friends. He was tired of his neighborhood friends teasing him about homeschool and acting as if they were somehow superior. And when he enlisted Dad’s help to convince me I knew he meant business. :(
Soooo…..I gave him 3 options for different schools he could go to. Ironically he was dead set against going to the same school as last year even though his friends are there. He ended up choosing a city school that is not so close by but has a kick butt art program. He told me it was between that school and a fourth choice I hadn’t offered…a nearby Catholic school. I am happy he chose the one he did because we are … not Catholic, LOL. We enrolled him, went shopping for new clothes, and he started yesterday. It is still really early but he is VERY happy so far and yesterday he came home with homework that he already knew forwards and backwards. It was awesome to see the boost it gave him to realize he was actually ahead. And since he is back in school we re-instated a bed time (something we usually don’t have) and he is so jazzed about school he has been going without complaint.
I am kinda sad our homeschool adventure has ended but how sad can I be when I see how happy he is? I have to remember that I didn’t start this because I thought homeschool was the best way to school your kids and that public schools all suck. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. I started this to do what was best for my son and right now he tells me that what he needs is at a brick and mortar school. I owe it to him to do my part to make it work.
Best wishes on your path. It might change again later and you might be on and off again home schoolers throughout his school years like us! Hope whatever happens works wonderfully.
It’s so cool that you are willing to try different things to find one that works!
Tiffany, you are so wise. You see the pros and cons of both home school and traditional school and aren’t afraid to say so…and you realize that what constitutes the best educational experience can change from time to time and when it does, you do what works best for your situation. Your son is very lucky to have such a smart mom. As a long-time public school teacher, I wish more parents had your ability to see the big picture.
Good for you. I like to parent following the lead of my children when possible and this would be one area that I’d follow their lead. And if he decides later that he wants to come back home then I’m sure you’ll follow that lead again.
I’m glad your son is happy about the choice you made together for letting him go back to school. I’m vascilating about what to do with regard to our daughter. She’ll be four in January and our only child. She’s bored to tears at home, as she’s very social. I’m thinking I’m going to have to let her go to school and just add in the extras as we go, combatting the bad that can be had from the “school away from home” situation. Its so hard to know what to do. But you’re definitely on the right track! Listening to your children and their needs is a HUGE piece of the puzzle. Blessings!
There’s no shame in doing what is right for your son at any given time. :)
So nice that your son can have the experience of choosing what is best for him. We’re hs’ing this year, but we’ll see what happens in the future; my daughter is extremely social and I have a hard time keeping up with that. And I had to comment because my husband went to a Catholic high school and they’re not Catholic either. :)
Stay strong. I homeschooled my son last year due to a horrible experience the previous year (not a stellar school district). We moved over the summer to a new state and in the Fall he wanted to be in a regular class with the neighborhood kids. I miss our time together – like you. For now its best for him. No matter what, they know we love them
we have to let our kids take the lead sometimes. If we listen to their cues they will grow up to be great adults!
and I think most kids in catholic schools aren’t catholic. my brother goes to a private catholic school but only because it has the best academic program. they do have to take a religion class, but it is more history. he has never had a teacher that says he must believe something. :)
What a wonderful mama you are to listen to your son’s needs and doing what’s best for him! I am glad he is happy and that the new school is working well so far. You can always leave the door to homeschooling open for him should he choose to return home for his schooling. So nice that he has options!
Doing what’s best for your child, although hard on us and sometimes our own psyche, is always best. It’s take a great mother to realize that. I hope he does amazingly well in his new school.
Child led schooling. LOL! Sounds like you listened to your kid’s needs and made a decision. Kind of how this whole attachment parenting thing is defined. ;)
Isn’t it great that we are living in a time when such flexibility is possible! I’m so pleased to read these supportive comments. What a lucky young man he is to have a Mom who allows him to have some control over his life. All the best to you both.
Your son is lucky to have a mom who is willing and able to homeschool and come up with alternatives other than his previous school. Not every school is right for every child, so finding the place where each child feels comfortable and can learn is the real challenge. Sounds like you did it perfectly!
Great job Tiffany!
I am sure this new change and the homeschooling are both for your son. Mom knows best! I certianly hop enone of the neighbors’ kids go to his new school…
Congrats on making a difficult choice and I do wish you and your son the very best. One side note, Catholics aren’t so bad either…lol. :-)……. I am Catholic, went to Catholic schools all my life and loved it. I embrace my faith and am so thankful for the education and morals I received both at home and at school. I had many friends who were not Catholic that attended school with me. They turned out just great, too! :-)
We’ve been doing a similar program with TeenGirl this year and she will be returning to “regular” school at semester time. It’s just not working out like we hoped it would. That said, I’m still looking at full homeschool (not a public curriculum) for my 3 grade school kiddos. Time will tell!
Good luck to you both on this journey!
Good for you, listening to your child’s needs. You are an awesome Mama!
You should be proud of yourself for listening to your son! I’ve homeschooled my daughter from 1st until 3rd grade. She got into a fantastic program through our county and has attended school for 4th and this year (5th). After this year, she will be coming back home for schooling. I planned on homeschooling my son (7years old now), but realized that he needed to be in a busy social environment and so attended regular K and is now in 1st grade. I can’t imagine homeschooling him! At first I felt like I was a failure for not homeschooling him, but now I see that I made the right choice. It is hard to make these decisions because people have strong opinions on both sides, but kudos to you for listening to your son and following his lead on this adventure.
I pulled my son out of public school a few years ago now, and it has been a great adventure. He is now coming up on Middle School and wants to go to the same charter school as his sister. The school is small and has a large population of spectrum kids. I think it will be a good fit.
His overall self image was horrible while he was in the public schools. He just didn’t fit, and was teased (beat up in 1st grade by 5th graders). He didn’t have the skills to cope.
Homeschooling has given us 4 years of being able to get him therapy, give him security to build his self confidence back up, and get him the one on one time to build key skills. Something that the public school couldn’t do with 34 kids per class.
I think its important to find a good “fit” educationally for our kids. My daughter was homeschooled and she couldn’t stand my high expecations for her academically (i.e. yes, you have to actually DO something). She prefers the schools where she doesn’t have to do anything and she can goof around with her friends (her words not mine).
Good luck and continue to listen to your kids :)
Your honesty and passion for doing what is best for your children it is inspiring. You tried and that makes you a great mom.
Sounds like your mean neighbor’s house needs a good egging! Maybe some holiday teepee-ing? Or perhaps their nicer to your son now that he’s in a “real” school?
Hi. I have had the same experience with the neigbors kids giving my daughters a hard time about “real school.” I went directly to the parents. It was not pretty! The problem was handled. I just hope you and your son didn’t “cave” because of some BRATTY neighbor kids. Hang in there. Being a parent is HARD….weather your child is homeschooled or attends public school.