Happy Birthday Paku!

Today is my little guy's 4th birthday! I am soooo emotional today, sob. Since he is the baby of the family and always will be this hits me especially hard. Mostly though I am just so overjoyed that I am lucky enough to have this special boy in my life. I remember the day he was born with so much clarity. I was alone for most of the process because my husband was out of town and my mom had to watch my other two kids. After his birth I got up from the bed and stood with him by the window. It had snowed overnight and I just stood and looked at the snow covered landscape and breathed in that baby smell. I wasn't lonely that no one else was around, I had my buddy with me. To this day he is till my buddy… always with me. 

Soon he became known as Paku (Paw-Koo)… my daughter's name for him since she couldn't say Parker. I still call him Paku.

This year has been momentous for him. He started preschool in October, going to a public immersion program for kids with disabilities and developmental issues. I guess it took me until he was almost 4 to finally accept that he was developing slower than most kids his age. He didn't talk much and his voice was still baby-like, much about him still seems baby-like but I figured he would catch up eventually. Then a call out of the blue by the school district in our new city, saying that by accident they received paperwork from Parker's old speech therapist (the one we disliked and quit going to). A very nice lady asked if Parker wanted to attend school and offered to have him bussed when I explained I didn't have a car during the day. I felt like it was a sign and it has turned out to be the best thing for him. He loves school, he is talking up a storm now, and in general he is just growing up so fast now… like it was all bottled up in there somewhere and is now exploding out. I never doubted that he was intelligent and that he understood what was going on around him… he just couldn't verbalize. Now he is learning to.

I remember being sad that he hardly ever said "mom" and then last week he jumped on me while I was on the couch and said "Oh mom, I love you, you so pretty". Oh, melt my heart into a big gooey pool already!

Now I need to go and make him some black bean brownies and raw banana ice cream for his birthday celebration tonight!