Speech Delay – Moment of Truth?

I have been concerned for awhile now about my youngest son having speech delay issues. For many months I just decided to play the wait and see game. Then at 30ish months old I did talk to his pediatrician about it but he ended being no help at all. He was in fact waiting until the end of the visit to spring it on me that he was dropping us as patients because we are a non-vaccinating family. I lost a lot of trust in the medical community at that point and I didn’t have much to begin with. Since my kids rarely get sick I thought I would wait until we relocated to the city to find another pediatrician but then I stumbled across an old article online that made me sit up can take notice. This part in particular caught my attention:

2 to 2 1/2 years Vocabulary of 400 words, including names; two- to three-word phrases; use of pronouns; diminishing echolalia; 75% of speech understood by strangers
2 1/2 to 3 years Use of plurals and past tense; knows age and sex; counts three objects correctly; three to five words per sentence; 80% to 90% of speech understood by strangers

Uh say what? My son will turn 3 in just a few days and he knows: mom, okay, apple, cookie, chocolate, night, shoe, cup, eye, nose, hair, ear, teeth, drink, eaten, dog, cat, and a half dozen other small words. I have heard a sentence maybe 4-5 times total so far. NO WHERE near 400 words. Do they put this stuff out there to scare the crap out of parents? He also has a habit of adding an “en” after words like night-en, or eat-en, or dog-en.

Even though his speech is limited his comprehension is awesome. I talk to him like I talk to an adult and he understands everything and will follow directions. He just doesn’t communicate and it is getting frustrating that he cannot tell me what he wants or needs most times. This is going to make potty training VERY interesting.

Anyway, I need to decide if I should in fact take him to see a speech pathologist. I wonder if I can just go straight to them and not get a referral. I don’t want to set us up with another ignorant, small town doctor like the last one. But honestly even if they tell us he needs speech therapy I cannot see him sitting for any length of time for a therapy session. And another wrinkle is that our inurance will not cover any type of speech therapy…nice.

So does anyone have experience with this? I have had some moms tell me to get it done ASAP and then others tell me that they went that route and regretted it when their perfectly normal children ended up getting labeled as developmentally delayed. What do you think?

46 Comments

  1. casual friday everyday

    I can only give you my experience…I’m no expert, but my oldest had major delays. He had less words than your son at three years of age and other delays. After only a few short months of therapy he was saying more words and speaking on his own…without being prompted. Now we’re into his second year and he won’t shut up ;) My middle son isn’t speaking as much as they’d like but we’re just watching him for now because he is doing much more speaking than my oldest at his age.

  2. Jennifer

    Early intervention is key. As a former teacher I can say that I witnessed this and the sooner the better. I’ve commented a time or two on here because my son has the same problem. He will be 3 in March and at 2 I made a referral for speech services. I’m so lucky because Texas has something called ECI- Early Childhood Intervention and it’s a state funded program. We do pay a small fee each month but it’s tiny compared to what a private clinic would charge. I’ve been a little disappointed as far as the therapy has gone- it’s basically been “play” therapy but everyone tells me that this is appropriate for his age. Unfortunately, ECI will only service kids until age 3. We are starting to think about the next transistion and later this month I’m meeting with our school district to see if he will qualify for their “TALK” program- a speech program for preschool aged kids. Does your district have something like this? It’s really a hard place for us…our first son was talking full sentences at 15 months and we never had to really think about “teaching” him to speak. I’m sure you are doing this but things such as flashcards and visual cues will help. We cut out milk and dairy products and noticed a huge difference in a few weeks. I’m hoping and praying that one day the lightbulb will just come on. Sorry to hear about your pedi dropping you. That stinks! I hope you can find the right assistance for your son!

  3. I just started on the speech therapy path with my DS. He had even fewer words then your son. I took him in for a full evaluation when he was 2 1/2, and he started speech therapy just a few weeks before his third birthday. His only delay was in expressive speech, everything else he was at or above his age level at, and his hearing evaluation came back completely normal.

    My pediatrician had a wait and see attitude about it, but watching my son struggle, and be frustrated with his lack of ability to communicate, forced me to do something about it. With the help of his therapist, who is WONDERFUL, we are helping him learn word sounds, while using signs and pictures to make communication easier for him in the here and now. I have only wonderful things to say about the time that my son and I (I don’t leave him alone at therapy) have with his therapist, and even though we are homeschoolers, he gets services through the local school district :)

    So please, feel free to ask me anything ;) But I highly recommend getting the process started, it can take a long time between first call and first therapy session. I have seen no down side to our choice to choice to take action, and only the happy smiles of a boy who is finally learning to make his wishes and thought known :)

    • Ashoknj

      hi, my Son who is 3 now has speech delay, behavior and hearing is good. Do you know any good Speech Therapist in New Jersey?

  4. Tiffany I would definitely check. Sometimes a teacher can recommend a speech specialist. It’s tough if you are moving because your son will have to get used to a new therapist if he does need one, but at least you will know. He will get very frustrated too if he can’t communicate his needs. Since it won’t hurt anything I don’t see a down side in seeing if he needs this. I had a friend who had a kid behaving very badly. He was around your son’s age. They found out he needed tubes in his ears – he wasn’t hearing. He was transformed and it was such a relief for everyone, not just the child. Anyway – you asked….

  5. OH! And I forgot to mention, that at his age, speech therapy would be like half an hour of fun play time, nothing like sitting in a chair looking at flash cards or anything like that. My son LOVES it, the therapist plays games with him, and he gets lots of special attention and one on one time ;)

  6. Thanks Spooky…awesome info!

    Thanks to you to Cynthia. He doesn’t have hearing or behavior problems…thank goodness. But I seeing how there isn’t too much a a down side to just having him evaluated.

  7. Hello there,
    I have a 4 year old with Down syndrome–so we have been to ALL types of therapy and know ALOT about what the normal range of ability would be at certain ages. 400 words at two sounds a little advanced, but I wouldn’t wait to get an evaluation for your son. Speech therapists, at least up here are VERY hard to come by and the waiting lists are long. It’s funny the comment you made about a “label” of being developmentally delayed. What does a label matter if your son is getting the help he needs. Plus, what if there is a problem and it’s something you could have fixed whan he was young and you didn’t? Don’t be afraid–therapy is fun for kids (most of the time) and so MANY kids are in therapy now a days. Good Luck to you.

  8. v

    I’m don’t have any experience to share. I just wanted to express how shocked I am that your doctor would drop your family because you don’t vaccinate your kids. I didn’t even know that would be an issue. That’s incredibly frustrating. I hope that you can find a new, better doctor soon. Good luck with whatever course you take regarding your son’s speech.

  9. First, I can understand your concern and yet your undecisive nature regarding this. I’m the same way.

    That said, since you asked for my two cents, I think you should have him evaluated. Better to have it done and know there is nothing going on than to wait and wait and then find out you could have done more if you would have known sooner.

    Also, contact your local school system. They should have a program where kids can be evaluated. But, do it soon. Our local system will only see a child until he’s 3 years old. After that, they just go to HeadStart (early intervention preschool).

    Good luck with your decision and I know you’ll make the right one. Keep us posted here!

    Ellisa

  10. Corinne

    Tiffany,

    I just want to tell you you’re far from alone! We’re going through almost the exact same thing with our son. He’s a little younger than yours, 25 months, but we have almost the same issues. And the same concerns for that matter.

    The only difference is that my son also has some sort of sensory issue, he’ll only eat dry carbs, yogurt, and will only drink water and milk. That in combination with his delayed speech sent us to Early Intervention to have him evaluated. We just had the in home evaluation this past Friday. While it was helpful, it was also a bit frustrating. He did qualify for their services, as his speech scored at a 17month old level. He scored at or above his age for every other area, just not exprssive language.

    The article and the 400 words bit reminded me of what the women who did the evaluation said. The tools they use to evaluate and score the children’s development are all from the 1970’s, and they say up front that they aren’t the best or most effective tools. I wonder why they still use them, why they haven’t updated, and if my son’s 17 month old speech level is really that, or if that needs to be updated with the times (if that makes any sense).

    Even though our son qualifies for services, they’re fairly backed up and won’t be able to start his six week session for possibly three months. By that time, my little guy could have gone through a word explosion, made some headway with his eating, basically could be in a completely different place developmentally. That’s frustrating to say the least. To know he could be helped now with their services, but to have to wait… yikes.
    I don’t think it hurts to at least have him evaluated. I know in our state (Mass) EI is free for the families until age three, and then the child would have to qualify for a state funded preschool, like another poster said about their own state – probably a head start program. I do worry that after age 3 the EI status would follow a child through early grade school.

    I’m starting to ramble, but if you want to chat about this feel free to send me an email! Good luck, I hope everything works out and you find some answers. You’re not alone! There’s more folks out there dealing with this than you’d think. I think there’s a lot more pressure these days for kids to be on the same level in most ways earlier than in years past. In my little circle I know of at least three families who have utilized the EI services in our area. Interesting!

  11. I’ve no real experience with this, but I’ve often wondered if “speech delay” isn’t a bit like a reading delay in that it usually resolves itself on its own. As in, every kid develops at their own pace, some slower than others. I started thinking along these lines because I once knew a girl who didn’t say a word — not one word — until she was four. It was clear that she was hearing and understanding, and when prompted she could mimic and repeat sounds, so the parents left her alone. And then one day at 4 years old she spoke in complete sentences.

    Likewise, I’ve known “unschooled” & homeschooled kids who couldn’t/wouldn’t learn to read until they were 8 or 9. They now read far above the level of most of their public school counterparts.

    I’ve started wondering if it’s perhaps a fault of our public education system — which lumps everyone of the same age together in the same grade and demands that they be on the same level. Kids get separated into “gifted & talented,” normal, and “remedial.” And the label sticks with them for the rest of their lives. We learn to think of our kids as “ahead” or “behind” other kids of their age, instead of just seeing them where they’re at.

    Heck, this even happens with doctors and their perverse obsession with growth charts. Kids grow differently.

    I’m not knockin’ speech therapy. How can I? I’ve got no experience with it. I’m just sharing what I’ve often wondered about.

  12. I have often wondered the exact same things Food Renegade…you have summed up why I hesitate perfectly.

  13. It sucks that the doctor sprung that on you like that. We actually surprised our Ped. at my DD’s 4 month appt when we decided not to further anymore vax. We never went back :) We actually found a pediatric chiropractor which does a much better job at keeping us healthy and happy – especially thru my pregnancy this time around.

    But as for your son’s vocabulary and speech, it may be wise to get him evaluated/tested and find a therapy program you are happy with. Now I did hear that Albert Einstein did not talk until he was four. And once they start they don’t stop!

    My DH has a co-worker with a son who did not talk at all for the longest time. But when he finally did it went something like this:
    Dad to Mom: “What do you think he (the son) wants to drink? Apple juice?”
    Mom to Dad: “No, I think he would want water or milk…”
    Meanwhile, the son – around four years old – says, in perfect English:
    “I would prefer the apple juice, please.”
    Both parents whip around and just stare at him!
    This particular family has lots of kids and lots of talking all the time. Perhaps he did not think he had to verbally communicate because everyone else was talking non-stop. Maybe your son is just an observer of life? Maybe when he has something important to say it will be said?

    Good luck and God Bless in whatever you decide to do!

  14. Bobbi

    Hi Tiffany,
    Just a quick post as I am about ready to fall asleep in my chair, but I have come across a lot of children who have had speech delays who have been found to be gluten sensitive. Once off gluten their speech improves tremendously.
    If I recall correctly, I think I have seen you talk about the Weston A Price Foundation. If so you may have heard of Dr Natasha Campbell McBride. She wrote a book called Gut & Psychology Syndrome. Its a great book. You may want to look into it. It talks about how a lot of issues (speech being one of them) is effected by the foods we eat.
    I have a good friend who’s son was having the same issues. He was going thru therapy and mom decided to remove soy and gluten from his diet. Miraculously his speech started to improve, so much so his therapist who said food had nothing to do with it is now a believer in the connection between gluten and speech.

    Anyway, you have my info, feel free to contact me if you would like more info!

  15. My middle son didn’t talk very well at all until he was almost 5. Military doctors were no help and instead acted like we were being overdramatic for being worried and/or we were just bad parents and that’s why he wasn’t talking. Come to find out, he could hear us ok, but couldn’t hear well enough to pronounce he words properly and couldn’t really hear himself saying them so would get really really frustrated when trying to communicate with us (which led to lots of melt downs and bad behaviour). The problem? Ear wax!! LOL! Something so simple caused so many tears for us all over the years. THEN we started teaching him baby signs, at about 7 months old, so he had some means of communication. But I really wish I’d learned more signs to teach him. It would have saved us years of frustration on everyone’s part if he’d had a means to communicate with us.
    Now, under doctors orders we ‘boil’ his ears out at least once a week with peroxide (and his younger brother too). We can always tell when he’s getting stopped up, he’ll answer less, act up more, and speak very loudly (he’s 9 now) but because of what we learned with him. ALL of our children get taught ASL starting from about 6-7 months with age appropriate words and we add more as their comprehension goes up. Our 17 month old is able to have a conversation with us, though it’s not always with her voice. It cuts down on a LOT of frustration LOL.
    So I guess that’s 2 suggestions, try checking your sons ears for to much ear wax, it can get lodged in the back and while it may not be very visible, it can still cause large problems. If you put a few drops of peroxide into his ears and it foams out, you’ve got issues.
    Also, I highly reccomend ASL as you can see LOL
    I also agree with the posters about children who are just sometimes slow to speak.

  16. Else

    Hi, I happened across your blog on accident and happened to see this post. I happen to be a speech therapist. I don’t work with kids right now, I’m working with old folks in a medical setting. I do think it would be worthwhile to have a speech eval done. There’s a lot of research that says that kids that are “late talkers” will by and large turn out ok in the long run, but that they often really struggle in kindergarten and early elementary school. Speech therapy with young kids looks a lot like “just playing” but there is a method to the madness. Also, most speech therapists that work with small children do a lot of teaching the parents about how to help boost their kids language development.

  17. RickRussellTX

    My son is profoundly non-verbal at age 6,and regrettably has not been helped by speech therapy. However, there are a lot of kids that are helped.

    My nonverbal son can read and type a little, which makes things much easier, and you could pursue those options with your child. Label everything and require him to point to a list of words or type in a word to get what he wants. That will let you break open the barriers of communication (and more importantly develop the appropriate parts of the brain) until you can work with a speech therapist to determine the cause of the speech impairment.

    RR

  18. Tiffany,

    My son has a speech delay. I thought he did and everyone told me no. Having a degree in early childhood education, I knew something was off. Here is my advise as a parent and educator because early intervention really is key.

    1. Find out if you have an intermediate school district.
    2. Do they offer free speech screening for 0-5 (most early childhood education services do)
    3. You’ll most likely find this with your ISD but it will fall under the special education umbrella (I say who cares).

    We did this and had a free screening and have had free services for over a year now and what a huge difference it has made. I am soooo glad I have done this. The speech pathologist had us go to get his hearing tested but other than that, no doctors. You can hire private with zero referrals but is will cost you a ton of money!

    Feel free to email me, you have my address.

  19. My two older children were adopted at 11 months and 17 months old. They were both delayed in several areas so we had them evaluated with our state’s Early Intervention program. One child did not qualify but our second son did. He received Occupational, Physical, and Speech therapy. He is still in speech therapy and it has helped him. Everything was paid for by the state so insurance doesn’t matter. Good luck.

  20. Angela

    Hi Tiffany,
    We recently went through the same thing! Everyone kept telling me to “wait and see”. My daughter also understands and comprehends everything, just not talking much. I don’t even read those studies anymore because that just make me crazy. We finally went and got evaluated by a birth-3 early intervention program that is gov. funded. She only qualified for speech. And I figured – either way it can’t hurt to get services. If nothing ends up being wrong, then no harm done, if there is something wrong, then we got help earlier than later. Once she turns 3, they send us to the local school district – who is (I think) required by law to help us for free. Our speech therapist is wonderful and comes to our house once/week. She also teaches me how to help our daughter. She also said that she is not a “late talker” because she is babbling so much, it is just not quite English. Good luck with your decisions and the whole process! Hopefully it will be as painless as ours.

  21. Amelia

    My Aunt had the same experience as Bobbi described with my cousin. He was developmentally delayed and diagnosed as autistic. My aunt and uncle did some research and changed his diet so he now does not eat gluten or any form of dairy. He also saw therapists and is doing great now. I am beginning to wonder if he was ever actually autistic or if his problems were all diet related.

  22. Dlang

    Hi,
    My son was diagnosed with verbal apraxia. He is now 9 yrs old. We having been doing the speech therapy thing for years, and h ad made some progress. However, 3 months ago I came across a new supplement ( I am constantly on the internet trying to find ways to help him!!) called “speak”. It contains Omega3’s in the right ratio along with 2 forms of vit K and 2 forms of vit E and borage oil(GLA). The improvement in his speech since starting this suplplement has been FANTASTIC! Even his SLP has commented on his improvement! The company is offering a free box to any family that wants to try it and see if their child responds( I started with the free box and then contacted the company to order more after I noticed improvement). ANyone interested should check out the website speechnutrients.com- they offer a lot of info there( and you can order the free box) and at speechtrial.com which gives a lot of the science info. Good Luck and let me know how your child does if you decide to try this! Dana

  23. Helen

    Einstein didn’t speak correctly until he was 10 years old. See: http://www.neatorama.com/2007/03/26/10-strange-facts-about-einstein/
    I hate Western Medical text book doctors. I have a homeopathic/ natralpathic doctor who also sees my 4 year old son who also has speech delay problems. My 4 year old son talks like Barbara Walters or Elmer Fudd. My homeopathic doctor says that the age where the brain is open to learn speech, reading and writing is up to the age of 10, so therefor, she tells me not to worry just yet. My midwife (I just gave birth to a little girl via natural water birth) refers her patients out to pediatricians who will often turn away those who don’t vaccinate their children, so I know what you are talking about. My natralpathic/homeopathic doctor is also a normal doctor who can prescribe medication has my son on homeopathic vaccines. How cool is that? I didn’t even know that they exist but they do and are safe. My homeopathic doctor is so disgusted with the medical field that she can’t even recommend any good pediatricians here in San Francisco. I pay out of my pocket for my holistic doctor because my health insurance doesn’t cover her, but she is so worth it.
    My girlfriend also had speech delay growing up as a child but her parents did send her to a speech therapist and she talks totally normal now and you would never of known that she had any speaking delays as a child at all.
    I am also told that the school district can administer tests to children to see if they have any disorders but I don’t think I would send my child because I dislike and distrust institutions and I dislike any kind of labels or pigeonholing and I don’t like brainwashed mass sheep mentality.

    • Colleen

      Where is your doctor I am also in the Sf bay area and looking for a holistic doctor..thanks!

    • Rsanborn816

      Hi Helen, not even sure if you will get this since it was 4 years ago that this was posted ;) But in the off chance that you do..I would love to hear more of your experience on homeopathic vaccines!! I did not know that they exist!!!! Thank you!! My email is rsanborn816@yahoo.com

  24. Kimberly Herbert

    I believe in the US schools districts that receive federal funding (read all) are required to provide early intervention including speech.

    I’m a teacher and we have had wonderful speech Therapists at my school. The one bad one was fired very quickly. I went to my principal with concerns about the way she was speaking to kids and was told they were talking care of the situation. She was escorted from the building a couple days later. When they couldn’t replace her immediately – the district paid for private therapy until they found someone for the position. A wonderful warmhearted woman.

    Unfortunately we lost her last year, when she passed away, again the district paid for private therapy till a new person came on board. I have observed our former and current therapists. Even with the older kids (4th – 5th grade) it isn’t a sit still and say what I tell you to type thing. They play games and do things to draw the child out. There is always laughter coming from her room. With the little bitties it is often one one one.

  25. Getting an evaluation is a good idea, especially if free services are to be had in your area, as they are in mine. He might need therapy, he might start talking on his own, but if there’s a cause, best to know it as soon as possible.

    In my area, once they’re over 3, speech therapy is the school district’s problem. It’s free, as were the county services up until age 3.

    Therapy has really helped my son, although it’s hard to say how much progress he would have made on his own, since he has only a fairly normal speech delay of a sort common to slightly premature babies. He was only barely considered preemie (36.5 weeks), but he and my sister’s daughter who was also a bit preemie have followed almost exactly the same speech development patterns!

    He had a big leap over the two weeks of winter break. One of the teachers was really impressed by the change.

    I figure I would rather he work out the issues now than when he’ll be dealing more and more with other kids his own age and they get less understanding about it… not to mention impatient relatives and other adults.

    Then again, one of my cousins apparently didn’t speak at all until she was 3, and then started in with complete sentences. She’s fine now.

  26. Eileen

    I would definitely get it checked out. It looks like many before me have offered good suggestions about the speech delay.

    If I may, I’d like to suggest you think about seeing a chiropractor for the kids instead of a pediatrician. Most chiropractors will back you in your decision to not vaccinate your children.

    While we do vaccinate, my kids only see the pediatrician for and annual checkup and shots. We see the chiropractor for everything else and my kids are rarely sick. They LOVE their chiropractor and actually argue over who gets to get adjusted first.

    Will be looking for updates on your little guy.

  27. tracy

    Our local school system has an early childhood program so you might see if there is one at yours. They would give him a series of tests to see how he is developing and help you decide what if anything needs done to help him. Plus it is free so this can give you an idea of what is best for your son.

  28. Jennifer A

    I have lots of experience with this in my son. My son spoke his first word at 8 months and didn’t speak again until 12 month, When I brought it up to his ped I was told, “he’s a boy, he’s slow and that is how God made him”. I took him to a new ped at 18 months who took one look at him and heard his lack of words and said we have a big problem. He basically babbled and said maybe 15 words. Ins did not cover therapy, so we got him into Early Intervention at 2 and he went to the school district at 3.

  29. Jessica (aka @kikarose)

    My best friend is a speech pathologist and she would tell you that getting your son evaluated can’t possibly hurt. From hanging out with her and hearing her talk, I would say that you should definitely take your son in.
    The good news is that starting at 3 the schools take over paying for speech therapy, so you’ll be well covered if he does need a bit of help.

  30. Thanks for all your help ladies!!! I appreciate it so very much…lots of stuff to think about. I am having him tested so we will see where we go from there.

  31. You are doing everything right for your child with a speech delay. By keeping toxins out of his environment and food and body, you are doing the best that you can as a mom and he will be fine I’m sure. If he is not doing echolalia (repeating what you say back to you) then he probably only has a small speech delay that will be easily corrected by a good speech therapist. It is the smartest and most sensitive kids that go through this.

  32. kellyb

    Yes, yes, yes, take them for an evaluation. I took my daughter to a college that offers a Speech Pathology Degree. The students did the evaluation (which was so neat to see and to see exactly where she fit in with her peers) and then they did the therapy as part of their college classes – we paid very little for the services and they were fabulous with her. She started at 3 and they did so much with her and kept her engaged and I watched through a 2 way mirror so I could reinforce the things she was learning at home! She made such huge strides she was caught up in 9 months!!

  33. Noa

    I am a neurodevelopmental pediatric nurse practitioner. I work will children with autism spectrum disorders, learning disorders, and genetic issues providing a biomedical approach (diet and nutrients based on lab results). This is the type of question that I am frequently asked. Normal devleopmental milestones are 30-50 words by two years of age and 475 words and 75% understandable by three years of age. I hope this helps clarify and I am happy to answer other questions. Noa

  34. I’m in Australia and I think I got a referal from a normal doctor.

    I found with a different child that a TV program called Playschool helped on video because of the songs and the things or words they can learn from them. They also used songs with my son who had the problem.

    He didn’t have trouble with the therapy at all. And he didn’t sit still much.

    Going back in time I wouldn’t sign anything. That is the main concern where I live. You know, sharing information. However, the doctor, pead did point out that it was bad when he started out with them so he did need to come to them. By school he could say sentences, but it took more effort than it did for the other kids. He did start school early though. Some of the other kids would have been older.

    I like chiropractors as well.

    Some of the early things they did with him included OT.

  35. Becky

    I’m an SLP in FL. The most natural way to provide speech therapy for a 3 year old is by training the parents to encourage verbal and non-verbal language use in everyday routines. The best program I have found for this is the Hanen program. Our state’s Birth-3 year EI services provides the training in certain areas, but if this is not available to you, you can purchase DVDs and a guidebook to give yourself ideas. I would recommend the “It Takes Two to Talk” program from what you have said. It’s available in their online store at http://www.hanen.org. Children’s speech and language develop in a wide variety of ways. Many do catch up by school age with and without therapy. One-on-one therapy can be very beneficial if the therapist’s methods match with how your child learns, but that does not always happen. If you use the Hanen program, you will know you are playing with your child in ways that encourage him to communicate with you. Oh, and the developmental checklists like the one you referred to can vary significantly depending on how, where, when they are researched and developed. Best of luck!

  36. Lori

    this was my personal experience. my oldest son didn’t speak until he was almost four. i did extensive research at the time. many people were telling me to have him “evaluated”. we felt he was perfectly fine. i had a friend majoring in speech & hearing and she gave me a giant pile of papers and documents to read. the material said that half the children who aren’t talking at 2 will talk by age 3, and half the children who aren’t talking at 3 will talk at age 4. the remainder will have some other issue — behavior, signs of autism, etc.

    now take this with a grain of salt, as i am no expert. the material all said that children are usually recommended for speech therapy “if the parents are worried” or “to make the parents feel better” but it isn’t necessary at all for those children who will begin speaking naturally.

    so .. we didn’t have him evaluated and he stayed almost completely silent until sometime late in his third year when he suddenly began speaking in complete paragraphs — and with a vocabulary that caused a stranger to say to me (one *week* after he began speaking) “oh, does your son go to montessori? he is so advanced!” lol

    we felt 100% comfortable that he was happy, content, had zero behavior issues, zero markers for autism or any other issue, had excellent hearing, etc., so we left it alone. some aquaintances were horrified. :^P but it was all fine. late speech also correlates with math and engineering ability, and my husband is an engineer and we found out much later that he also didn’t speak until age 4. (this would have been excellent information to have earlier, but alas.)

    this is just my personal experience, so take it as you will, but i hope it helps. :^)

  37. Jen

    Although my son is younger, I too had the same concerns. Depending on your state, you should be eligible for free services – the service isn’t income dependent, it’s child dependent…so, if your son isn’t where he “should” be, your family is eligible. We were living in OH; the service there is called Help Me Grow…each county has it’s own system set up. We are now in FL and the service is called Early Steps. My son gets therapy 1/week for an hour. He loves it b/c it’s focused on play. He’s still delayed but showing improvement. I’m hopeful that this will help him.

    Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I think the fact that he’s not in day care has something to do with him not talking much. We are considering putting our son in day care for 1/2 day/week just so he can get some socialization skills and have to communicate with others (as you know, mommy and daddy can figure out when he wants something and we anticipate it. Others will force him to talk and ask for what he wants).

  38. statia

    I echo everyone else that says to get him evaluated. You can either do this through the state Like a few have said, check your county for an Early Intervention program. They will most likely refer you to an “intermediate unit” type of program given that he’s closer to three. IU is a little bit tougher to get through, because it’s through your school district, not the county in most cases, so they’re a little bit more limited and in most cases, children who have been in EI already have an “in” but persevere and you’ll probably get somewhere. I have a friend who had to go this route with her son who ended up finally getting diagnosed with PDD/NOS. Either way, if it’s bothering you, take action. The other thing I would do is to try and find a developmental pediatrician, who deals strictly with developmental issues. Depending on where you live, you may be waiting awhile (current wait time to even get an appointment in the Philadelphia area is TWO YEARS, that’s not totally typical though. I know some other top cities who have much less of a wait). But having a developmental ped evaluate him might help you get help through the state more easily.

    As for the amount of words, some kids are just slow to pick them up. I don’t think that 400 words is typical. I would say, realistically, 200-250 words at two. At his age, though, he should be able to repeat them back to you. The good thing is, that, if his comprehension is good, it may just be something like low muscle tone. Or, some kids just have nothing to say, if they know they can get their needs met. I know that was partially the issue with my son. At 16 months he had maybe 9 words, and now, at 22 months, he still jargons when his brain is going too fast for his mouth, but he does speak in short sentences (age appropriately) and he has maybe 1-200 words. I’d say for his age that’s advanced. 400 words is WAY advanced and even his little friend who blows him out of the water with her language does not have 400 words, and they’re the same age.

    And I don’t know of any two year old where you can understand 75% of their speech. Maybe at 2 1/2.

  39. Robyn

    Well I can tell you that I am also a mom dealing with a 3 year old that is non-verbal. We started after his 2nd birthday by getting him evaluated. Started therapy 2 days a week for a half hour and then and early interventionist once a week. This was paid by a program called Early Steps. We also took a class called “It takes two to talk” which was very helpful in teaching us how to communicate with him and understand the way he was trying to tell us his wants and needs. We also did sign language and picture therapy. Since he turned 3 we phased out of Early Steps and into the school system. He loves school and still gets 120 hours of speech per week in school and gets private therapy. As for your child not wanting to sit still you would be surprised how well they will do. I said the same thing but it is fun and they want to learn. After only being in school for 3 months he sits quietly when he is asked to and participates will all the other kids.

    The progress has been slow but he is very happy. He does not have a hearing problem but did find out that his ears were not equalizing properly as well as having very large adenoids. We had his adenoids taken out and tubes put in his ears about 4 months ago and seems to have helped out a lot. With limited progress for over the last year they are tossing around verbal apraxia but will not diagnosis him as my therapist thinks he is to young.

    I know it can be frustrating but keep up the good work and hang in there. I have had a lot of experience with therapist and different programs so just email me if you have any questions.

  40. Kris

    I’ve a 6 year old that currently is in his second year of kindergarten at a private catholic school. We’ve had him evaluated at our local public school and he goes there twice a week for speech therapy. His tests indicate that his intelligence and behavior/attention level is average for his age, but he has a serious difficulties in the are of comprehension, expression and clarity of speech. And there are strange ways it shows up, for instance he can recite can write all of his letters of the alphabet, but he can’t tell you the sound the letters should make, not one! Then even if you tell him the sound of the letter he can never reply to you a word which begins with that sound.

    We wish we had taken more action when he was younger. If we had researched more we could have found that we were in a risk group in that I myself was a late talker, and my wife is not a native English speaker. In addition his baby sitter from 2 until 5, a wonderful woman from Paraguay, only spoke Spanish. However we never took the issue serious enough, until the last 2 years and its very difficult when they start school because the system are so demanding now a days.

  41. Lisa

    I have a three year old little boy, and I have exactly the same problem. He has a very limited vocab, and more than 80% of what he says…you really cannot understand. The comments on here have been wonderful—-I’m now also in the process of getting him evaluated. His doctor has also submitted a referral for him to see an audiologist, to check his hearing. I’m getting a little bit of pushback from my husband, who seems to think that because we are a bilingual household, that could be hindering his progress, but I just have a nagging feeling that it’s MORE than that. Even his daycare teacher gently asked me about his speech. I definitely think it doesn’t hurt to have your child evaluated………and catch the problem early.

  42. Lisa

    I have had my son in speech therapy for 3 years. It really helps. He was diagnosed with a speech & language impairment. He’s 6 now. Some people thought he was slighly autistic. Who cares about the labels…just help your kids. But here is a huge tip for everyone. As I was doing speech therapy for about a year(at 3) i noticed a little change. Then I finally took him to a developmental pediatrician in Los Angeles. She said keep him in speech 2 times a week for an hour each, and make sure they are comfortable with “advanced language concepts”. Thats what you want!! Also… the doctor perscribed Occupational Therapy 2 times per week for an hour each, but it had to be with a sensory integration certified therapist. They started the “sensory integration approach” therapy with him (by the way, insurance does not cover this) and in 2 monthes he was talking…ALOT!!! I truly believe that is what made the major difference. Speech helps move it along, but the OT made it happen!! They work with “fixing” the central nervous system through play. You want a place that litterally looks like a kid’s gym. They play a certain way, and it stimulates there brain amazingly!! Ofcourse maturity plays a big part as well, but this definitly made a difference!!
    hope this helps! By the way… Orange county, california has an abundance of services to help your child. I reccomend the capistrano Unified school district in south orange county, or the Newport-mesa district in north orange county. may not be the most perfect place to live, although the beaches and scenery are real nice, people can tend to be pretty stuck on themselves, but who cares…it’s awesome for special needs children at all severitys.

  43. gina

    My kid same problem almost 4….The doctor was no help at all….

    So I went to my local school district found a preschool therapist for free and I am having him evaluated… If you want something done ..

    Do it yourself is my advice. Be pro active and do it because sometimes these doctors tell you wait, wait, and the more you wait the harder it will be on the child to communicate when he goes to school.
    And because if the class size he will get lost in the shuffle.
    Good luck hope this help

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