This past weekend I read the book Out of the Mouth of Babes – Parenting from a Child’s Perspectiveby Dyan Fybergen RN. I liked it quite a bit because it is basically the story of one family’s journey with attachment parenting.
I subscribe to the ideas and values of attachment parents myself and yet hearing the theories and ideas only means so much. It is also important to hear stories from REAL parents who are parenting this way. It is important to hear what they did, how they tackled problems, how they found that their approach had to differ from child to child.
Sometimes I think it is too easy to read about the basic concepts of attachment parenting and think… “wow that sounds lovely”. Then you try to put it into practice and you may be shaking your head wondering what am I doing wrong? I did it just like that web site or book said right?
The author had three boys with very different personalities and had to vary her approaches to many things and cater it to the child. This is the most basic thing about attachment /instinctive parenting… understanding the needs of the individual child and finding a way to interact with them effectively.
She covers solutions she found for her kids in areas like sleeping through the night, eating, toilet training, sibling rivalry, and discipline. Like her I also had a child who slept through the night at 6 weeks and then a subsequent child who never slept through the night until 3 years old. Instead of stressing over the sleeping habits of the last child I just rolled with it and yes I didn’t sleep through the night for three years either but who said this parenting thing was supposed to be easy anyway?
Unlike books written by doctors or other clinical experts, this book was written by a mom and has real mom stories told in the first person. While I love every attachment parenting book I have ever read I think this stands out for that reason. We all need to hear from the other moms living in the trenches.
The other thing that makes this book unique is that all throughout she quotes her children and the children of others who say some pretty hilarious things. Some of it just very cute and some of it is slightly shocking but it is all very realistic.
It is a smaller size book and great weekend read. Enjoy!
Special thanks to Mother Talk for sending me the book.
Sounds like a great book! I practiced total ‘attachment parenting’ with my first child. She loved motion, I would bounce her (on the exercise ball holding her) and take her with me everywhere (baby wearing) Now she is 2 and we have found that she has some sensory issues- she loves movement and pressure (like ruff and tumble play, being held tightly) I was basically parenting by instinct – which of course I think is best. I am also a massage therapist, so massage helps her a lot with some of the sensory issues she has.
I assumed things would be similar with my son. He simply does not want to be held as much as my daughter did. He loves to laugh and play on his own – does a lot of moving on the floor (something my daughter never liked) He is so completely content I just know what I am doing is right. We co-sleep and I am breastfeeding- that seems to be enough for him and he actually gets overstimulated if I try to hold him too much (yet I can sense when he likes to be held).
So I guess as a parent I just follow my instinct and all babies are different. I am not a ‘by the book’ type of person, but I really like having a reference so when the Grandparents say we were spoiling I could point them to ‘studies’ lol – just one less thing I had to worry about:)
I am always looking to read new books on parenting. I have a 1 year old and have already turned to book reviews on the internet to find different parenting techniques. Thanks for the great review!
I think in general our parents made mistakes in trying to raise independent children. Adult children dont live near their families and many hardly talk. I think in the future we will see a difference in the families that did practice attachment parenting. Other cultures, practice attachment parenting and their families are so much closer.